atelophobia | kth + jhs

28

"I DRAW IN SILVER AND
IT TURNS OUT RED."

-

Nearly falling into his bathroom his hands automtically reached for a pill set out on his sink, dry swallowing it in one go.

This would make him feel better - Hoseok had been telling himself for the past few weeks, yet they seemed to have little to no affect on him.

Maybe they work on everyone but me.

Feeling himself slip angry he steadied himself against his bathroom sink, his ever present headache worsening with every desperate breath he took.

Remembering todays events his cheeks flush red out of embarrassment and sheer dissapointment, Seokjin must hate him now. Meeting his reflection in the mirror hoseoks
jaw tightened, fists balling into his shirt as the overwhelming urge to shatter the glass ran through him.

Feeling his stomache churn as a result of the drowning anxiety he bought up a hand to his mouth, a strong wave on nausea raking his body as he dropped to his knees infront of his toilet.

His shaking hands fumbled with the seat, lifting it up his head peered over the bowl - he felt like he was going to vomit.

Hoseoks body shook as the familiar gagging sounds surfaced the confined walls of the bathroom, coughing vigorously his eyes watered whilst his grip on the rim of the toilet bowl tightened.

After continuous gagging hoseok found he wasn't actually being sick, letting out one final cough hoseok spat into the toilet bowl, eyes widening at the sight.

"N-No!" Hoseok trembled, the pill he took minutes ago now floating amongst the water.
slamming his fist against his thigh he roughly slammed the lid shut, weakly dragging himself up to stand.

He didn't have anyone - not even Taehyung here to comfort him. Hoseok shook his head, wincing at the pain that he caused himself.

Hoseoks eyes met his own, the mirror portraying a figure unfamiliar to him - he didn't know who he was and it was scaring him.

His eyes turned red around the corners, teeth gritting together as he stared harder into the mirror, a sudden outburst of hatred exploding inside of him and everything was happening too fast.

Dilated eyes quickly searched around the room, his hands ripping open the cabnet door as he searched for - he didn't know what he was searching for until his eyes lay upon the small pretty silver rectangular object.

Eyes glistening at the sight he gripped it in between his fingers, not minding how it cut open the tips of his soft fingers in the process.

A sadistic smile made its way to Hoseoks lips before his bottom lip trembled in fear, bringing the small piece of metal to his skin. Biting his bottom lip a cry left his lips, harshly denting the razor vertically into his wrist before slicing downwards - his wrist shaking violently as blood slowly seeped from the cut to paint his hand and fingertips red.

Lolling his head back at the sickening feeling hoseok repeatedly dragged the razor down his pale wrist - red lines forming at the rate whilst the drops of blood trailing down his arm dripped to the floor.

Placing the razor to his blooded red canvas one last time he dragged it through his skin horizontly, only then realising the floor stained with a pool of blood and his clothes which were dampened with the crimson substance.

His phone vibrated against the surface of his counter.

Incoming call - taetae.

His whole body froze apart from his shaking wrist, eyes widening. Stumbling back against the door he leaned against it to support himself before he fell, his head becoming light at the thick smell of iron in the air. His legs gave way beneath him and his body harshly hit the ground, arm falling painfully into the fallen blood on the floor as his clothes and hair became sticky.

"T-Taetae." He choked out, sobbing loudly to himself as his phone kept on ringing. Wrapping his uninjured arm around his freezing cold frame he let out a silent scream of shame, he was so ashamed of himself - he hated himself for being such a dissapointment.

Throwing the razor which was still grasped inbetween his fingers against a wall he felt his vision blur.

It was silent, the phone not ringing anymore. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of hoseoks whimpers and silent pleas for help.

His trembling body hiccuped once he heard the phone go silent, body laying limp against the floor as his throbbing arm now left a dull stinging sensation which hoseok hated to admit he liked.

Feeling his sobs die down to faint hiccups his hooded eyes saw black, tears seeping there way out of his gently shut eyes before he sucumbed into darkness, not forgetting to say goodnight to the taumenting voice in his head which kept on yelling

deeper.

At this moment, hoseok
was dying.