The boy who broke me

8.

"You guys made it." Jenn says before she takes a bight out of her apple.
"Eew, who invited the freak?" Gabriel whines and scrunches up his nose.
"Bro, shut the hell up." Ryan says, his tone even.
"Sure, whatever." Gabriel shrugs.
"Anyway, Ry. This is Addy." Jenn says, pointing towards a girl with curly brown hair and shockingly deep blue eyes.
"Hey." She says shyly.
"Hi." I say, the air suddenly becomes awkward and I just want to go and eat lunch alone under the tree with Loki.
"Rylin, sit your butt down." Ryan teases, probably noticing how uncomfortable I was.
Loki and I make our way through the biggest crowd of idiots I've seen in a while, with a few exceptions of course. I sit next to the girl named Addy and Loki sits at my feet, talking to Ryan and one of the rugby guys who I think name's is Ethan.
"Are you and Ryan related or something?" Addy asks sheepishly.
"Yeah, we're twins."
"That's cool."
"Yup, you new here ?"
"Uh huh, my family moved here about a month ago."
"You like it here with this bunch?" I ask skeptically, she doesn't seem like the type of girl who enjoys the company of idiot teenage boys who couldn't have a proper conversation even if they tried.
"No, not really. Jenn seems nice though."
"She is, but the rest of them are a bunch of brain dead animals." I say and I can feel Loki chuckle at that, while Ethan gives me a look that says he wants to disagree but can't. He knows I'm right.
"Are you and that guy dating ?" She asks, pointing at the back of Loki's head. I feel his body stiffen against my legs as he strains to hear my answer.
"That depends on him." Let him chew on that, I wink at Addy to let her know that I'm just teasing. She smiles at my attempt to freak him out.
"I see."
"D'you have a boyfriend?" I ask.
"No, haven't been here long enough."
"That makes sense."
Before I can think of what else I could possibly ask Addy, the bell rings signaling the end of lunch.
"Nice meeting you Addy. See you later." I say as I wave goodbye to everyone who's actually paying me any attention. I take Loki's hand and head towards English, the lesson we have together today.
•••
By the end of the day, I've worked up enough nerve to talk to Addy. Maybe even invite her over for dinner, if Jenn's there tonight. Her and Ryan would be my safety net if I fell off of the very very jagged edge we call friendship. I've always been very sensitive around people, I'm not the skinniest girl. I don't fit into single digit clothing sizes, but slowly I've been teaching myself how to be happy with the person in the mirror.
"So I've summed today up I think." Loki says.
"Oh yeah?" I say teasingly.
"You want a friend, someone who isn't your boyfriend?" He asks questionably.
"Yeah, I do. It would be nice to have someone with a girls perspective to talk to you know ?" I ask.
"I get it. I'm not going to understand most of your girly issues." He chuckles.
"Wait." I say, finally taking in everything he just said, dating. Are we dating ?
Loki stops mid step and gives me a worried look, i grin and now he just looks confused.
"Did you just say that you're my boyfriend ?" I ask.
"If that's ok, don't want to force it on you. I am the one who kissed you, you didn't ask for it. It's alright if you don't even like me that way, I'll totally get it. You know what, just forget I ever said it, ever kissed you. You don't like me back, I'm a idiot." He rambles on so quickly that I only hear about half about what he said, but I hear enough.
His cheeks are flushed and I can tell that he's trying to hide the fact that he is shaking. He is completely and utterly, nervous and I absolutely adore this soft side of him. I take his face in my hands and force him to look me in the eyes, I take a moment to admire his gorgeous green eyes. They hold me within their grasp, the sparkle completely mesmerizing.
"I feel the same way, Loki Scott I absolutely loved the way you called yourself my boyfriend. Okay ?"
"Okay." He breathes.
I give him a quick kiss on his lips, it's over way too soon but I have to find Addy. I have the make a friend. How preschool of me.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I say.
"Good luck. I just know Addy will be dying to be your friend." His smiling face is the last thing I see before i turn around.
I wander around school grounds but can't find Addy anywhere. I decide that I'll look in the library and if she's not there well then obviously she went home. I start typing a message to Ryan just telling him that I'll be home within the next half and hour. Ever since i disappeared the other morning he's been hovering over me like a hawk, worried I'll just run off a again. With all my concentration on my phone, I don't see Gabriel and Ethan until I slam straight into Ethan's back.
"Watch it weirdo." He growls.
"Ugh, it's the freak. Forget where you were going ? Are you that stupid." Gabriel chuckles.
I can think of a million things to say to him, but don't have the voice for any of it.
"Picked up a few kilograms, have me Rylin ?"
"Maybe the gyms a better option, leave the books. The whole high school would thank you."
They both laugh.
"Saw you and that Loki kid in the parking lot, what on earth could a guy like that see in you ?" Ethan's menacing voice taunts.
"Maybe it's just a game to him. You know, because your worth nothing in real life."

And at that moment I can't take what they're saying anymore. Because it's true, all of it. I turn around and run towards the door. I need to get out of here, now. But I'm not fast enough and I hear Gabriel's voice call over.
"Eew, look how your thighs jiggle." They both laugh.
I run, faster and faster until I can see my car. I slam into something, and fall.
"Ouch." Addy says.
"I'm so sorry." I sob, the tears rolling down my face. My body shakes and i hide my face in my legs. Not wanting Addy to see me like this.
"Hey, Rylin. What's wrong ?"
"Everything." I say into my legs, my voice muffled.
"You can tell me if you want, I'll listen."
So I tell her, I tell her about Loki and how happy I was, and then about the boys and how their words cut deep and how Ryan and I are still new at this. But mostly I just cry on the tar of the lot. Pathetic.
"Rylin you are most certainly not fat, you might not be a size 6 but you are beautifully unique and should be proud of that. Loki sees you for your beauty, inner and outer and is not just playing you. Don't you even worry about what those idiots have to say."
•••
Addy comes home with me, she drives which allows me to collect myself before we get home. My eyes are still red and my face still swollen but I'm not crying anymore. We arrive to Jenn, Ryan and mom all sitting at the table. Talking. They're waiting for me to get home.
Mom looks up as sees Addy, she smiles proudly and gets up to dish another plate of food.
Addy follows her into the kitchen to introduce herself and apologize for the sudden and unexpected visit. I hear muffled laughter so I can only hope that mom likes her.
They walk in a few minutes later and we all sit down to have dinner.
"So, Addy. Is Addy your full name or is it short for something ?"
"It's short for Adeline, but I always thought that it was too old fashioned." She says uncomfortably.
I quite like her name, it's vintage and different. It just adds to the list of things that I like about her, she helped me when I was broken earlier today and she hardly knew me.
Dinner drifts on smoothly and afterwards Addy and I make our way to my bedroom.
"So, are you alright after what happened.. You know.. At school ?" She asks carefully.
"I don't think anyone could ever be fully okay after someone attacks what makes you yourself."
"I could never understand what that would feel like but I am sorry that you do."
"Thanks."
"Friends ?" She asks, probably worried about my mental state after today.
"That would be awesome, friends."
"Cool, well it's getting kind of late. I live about two streets down. I'll wanna get home before its too dark to see."
"I could take you." Jenn calls, obviously eavesdropping which means that Ryan isn't far behind.
Jenn and Addy say goodbyes, Ryan walks into the room. His face is scrunched up and he looks sad.
I get up and drag him towards my bed, I sit him down beside me and lean my head on his soldier.
"Why so glum, big Brother ?" I ask.
"I've hurt you many many times, I used to torment and tease you every chance i got and never even cared what it did to you."
"Where are you going with this ?"
"I heard what you said to Addy and i saw how red and puffy your face was,I mean obviously you meant me, right ?"
I sigh sadly and sit up so I can shake my head. He frowns and looks down at his hands, unable to look me in the eyes.
"Not you Ry, not this time. Gabriel and Ethan." I say. His muscles tense up and he growls.
"What they do ?" He growls.
"The usual I suppose, maybe worse."
He hugs me, so tight that I can't breathe and then storms out the room.
•••
Just as I climb into bed, there's a knock on my door and I slowly get up, my head still confused by the whole day's events.
Loki stands in my door, heaving. His face is livid. He looks at me, as if seeking for any injuries. Of course he finds no physical injury.
"I'll hurt them." He growls.
"How'd you find out ?" I mumbled.
"Addy phoned me, she was worried. I'm so sorry." He hugs me. Within his arms I feel safe, I can forget about what they said.
I try not let the tears flow over, but they do and Loki just tells me that somehow, someway he'll fix all this.