The boy who broke me

14.

ADDY's POV.
"I'm done." He growls, walking away from me.
"No we're not, get yourself back here."
"I said I'm done."
"Ryan, if you walk away. Your screwing yourself over. Wether you're a alcoholic or not, whether you hurt others really has no real effect on me."
"All the better." He says and walks out.
I sigh, this isn't going to be easy.

I walk out and try and find Ryan, his bloody attitude is getting old really fast. Him trying to tell me what he's been keeping inside wasn't easy, I got that. But in the end what about this was going to be easy ?

"Listen to me real nice, Dresden."
He turns around, seething.
"What ?" He asks.
"Are you going to kill yourself with all that stuff you pour down your throat ? Are you going to put your family through that again ?"
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"Don't I ? You don't think I've lost someone due to substance abuse ?"
"I didn't know." He says, his head low.
"Of course you didn't, why would I tell you something like that when you're a idiot ?"
"I'll try again."
"Okay. Good. But right now i need coffee. Let's go."
•••
I pay for my coffee, knowing that Ryan can't afford it. He spends most of his money on any damn bottle he can find and due to recent discoveries, a few boxes of cigarettes too. I walk over to a table in the corner of the small shop. The leather of the seat is worn out and torn but adds character in a old rundown rustic kind of way. Ryan tries to sit down but loses his balance and falls on the floor. He's drunk out of his mind and I didn't notice until now, the guys pretty good at hiding it.

In one of his better moods he mentioned that he drinks at school. Every day. Said that it helps him with all the pressure that a teenage life has to offer. And yet here the rest of us are, managing quite fine without a bottle of beer in hand. Because no matter how hard life gets for the rest of us we know that drinking isn't going to solve them. And I told him just that.

I glare at him, mad as hell that despite all his promises. Here he is, drunk. Again.
"You're pathetic right now Ryan, get off the floor please." I say, as cooly as I can.
He stands up but doesn't sit down, well great. I hurt my own little drunks feelings.
"I don't have to listen to this." He says and turns on his heel.
"No you don't. But you're sisters about to walk through that door and serve coffee to a bunch of ungrateful group of rich kids and it's going to kill her all because you can't get off your butt and help your family."

I know I hit a nerve, he's ashamed of what he's done to his sister, his family. He wants them back but nothing he's been doing has proved that to me yet. He turns around and sits down, his face shocked and pale.
"Rylin took a job here ?"
"Yes. While you were out at a club or smoking you're head off in your room your sister realized that your mom can't do this alone."
He shakes his head and I almost feel bad for the guy, he wants to change but doesn't know how.

"How many times do i have to screw up ?" He asks.
"Plenty, but I'll help you get there."
He nods and takes a sip of his steaming coffee, sobering up as we sit there.
"In my dad's office." He says.
"What ?" I ask.
"In his office, its where I hid it all."
I nod, knowing what we need to do.

Rylin walks in but doesn't see us, she doesn't need to see her brother right now so when she walks through the back door I take Ryan by the hand and lead him out the door. He doesn't fight me, clever boy.
•••
I have a garbage bag in my hand and Ryan's standing in front of a cupboard filled with more empty bear bottles than I think our local shop has full.
"This is ridiculous." I say as I size up the situation.
"We're going to need more bags." He says and I laugh, glad he can make a joke in a time like this. It's a good sign.
"Okay, well lets start with the empty ones." I say.
He nods and we get to work.

By the end there's sweat running down my forehead and I'm sure I smell like a dustbin. I watch Ryan from the window as he throws away the five bags full of bottles. And that's just the empty ones. The full or at least half full ones are being donated to the Restuarant down the road. Because and I quote "why let a good bottle of whiskey go to waste ?" He looks at me and gives me a sad smile. This is totally killing him inside but I nod, letting him know that this should have been done ages ago but at least we're getting somewhere. Right ?

He passes me a glass of water and I put my feet up on the table across the couch. Ryan flips through the channels, unable to decide what he wants to watch. We both decided that we were done with "being a alcoholic is bad" for at least a hour. He finally settles with a episode of lilo and stitch.
My head grows heavy and my legs fall off the table with a thump. Ryan takes them and rests them on his lap. I doze off.

I'm distantly aware of a knocking on the door but ignore it. When Ryan stands up I have no choice but to do the same. I'm surprised to see Jenn at the door. I smile at her but decide it would be best if I wasn't present for that conversation, I'll always ask Ryan what she said later.
I refill my glass and sit at the island as I wait, it takes a good half an hour before Jenn comes in and says goodbye.
She pulls me into a hug.
"Thank you for helping him." She whispers.
"Someone had to get him back on his feet."
"It was always to hard for me you know ? I could never see him in a bad way, love does that."
"I know. No pass tense ?"
She shakes her head.
"I still love him, he was just hurting me and himself too much for me to handle." She says sadly, as if she's ashamed of her words.
"Don't stress it, he didn't make it easy for someone to help him."
She nods, hugs me one last time and walks out the door.

Ryan comes in, his cheeks wet. He smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes and I know that right now all he wants to do is lose himself. I take his hand and go up to his room. He needs a friend, someone genuine. Not like that idiot of a best friend Gabriel. That guys a meathead.
I turn my head and see that the tears he was trying to stop have just flowed down his cheeks at a heavier and faster rate.
My heart aches. He's hurting real bad.
When we reach his room I turn him around and hug him, letting his tears wet my hair as he lets his head rest on mine. I force him to sit on his bed and position myself next to him. I wrap his arms around me, allowing his embrace to comfort him more than me.
"You can do this, it might hurt like hell. But you'll get through this and then you'll get the girl."
"I'll get the girl." He whispers, convincing himself more than me.

I must fall asleep in his room because I wake up to him getting up and Rylin standing in the doorway gives us a questioning look.
"We're getting there Ry." Ryan says as he walks out and into the bathroom.
"Since when do you and my brother have sleepovers." She chuckles.
"Since I was tired and you weren't home yet." I smile and make my way to her room, wanting to shower myself but it dawns on my that I have to wait.
As I walk past the door I knock.
"Mmm ?"
"Are you decent ?" I ask.
"Yup."
I walk in and grab the things I need, avoiding what I hope isn't a bare chest.
"Where do you plan on showering ?" He smirks.
"Well, im showering here. You on the other hand are showering in your moms room." I smirk ever smirkier than what he was as I hand him his soaps and push him out the door.
"Hey. No fair." He laughs.
"Girls take preference, bud."

He laughs and leaves, making me wonder when I became so comfortable with the idiot.