The boy who broke me

26.

Loki, I'm sick of this. We need to talk. This isn't helping anyone so meet me at pocos at 12.

As I press send, i take in a deep breath but it hitches in my throat. What if Loki just ignores my message ? What if he shows up but blows up in my face like he did last time ?

Or he could even just not talk to me and ignore me. But he could also listen. He could act like a grown up and talk this through the way we should have a long time ago. So as I wait for him to reply, I message Addy to come over.

I need my best friend in a time of crisis. Just as I place my phone down and reach over for my book, it buzzes and my heart stops in the middle of a beat.

I move slowly, avoiding having to read his reply for as long as possible. But I can only move so slowly. I take the phone in my hands and stare at the black screen. Willing the message to disappear and come back later when I'm ready.

But it's already 10 and I only have 2 hours before I would have to meet him. I need his answer in order to prepare myself accordingly.

Okay. I'll be there.

That's all I get. Nothing else. Somehow it's worse than no reply at all because now I know that he's still upset and I'm going to have to try and calm the raging sea that is Loki right now and all I have is words.

I close my eyes and it feels like a eternity passes by before there's a nock on my bedroom door.

"Open."

Addy walks in and I see Caden behind her, luckily he just waves at me from a distance and then enters Ryan's room. We hope he makes it out of there alive. He isn't immune to all those fumes the way that Ryan is. Many people have come close to passing out in there.

"I told him you had boy problems."
I groan.
Addy chuckles. "What ? He didn't even know what that meant."
"He's not a idiot, of course he knew what it meant." I sigh, giving her a pointed look.

"So what's up ?" She says, her voice is filled with worry. All the joking and lightheartedness from a minute  ago now gone .

So I start at the beginning, I tell her about the accident and how Loki reacted and yelled at me. How he went into a deep dark hole and hasn't come out yet. I tell her about the coffee date we have in 2 hours and how I have no idea what's going to happen or even what I'm going to say to him.

"What happened is not your fault or even your dad's. It was a freak accident and if Loki can't see that, if he can't love you the same way he did when he didn't know. Then he isn't the right guy for you. Tell him what you feel is right and whatever happens is for the best."

"Thanks Ad, I guess you're right. I'll just have to see him for who he really is underneath all his layers and decide if he's the same guy I loved."

"Don't let him break you Rylin. Be strong, no matter what happens. If things end badly and it does end up hurting you, don't let him see it."

"I won't. I met someone yesterday. I thought we could add him to our circle of buds ?" I ask, laughing at the nickname that Caden gave us a while back.

"Oh my word. That would be awesome. Whats his name ?"
"Shane."
"We'll have to introduce him to the group soon."
"I think he'd like that, he was bored yesterday." I say, smiling at the memory.

"What did you do ? Spend the whole day with him or something?"
I scoff.
"No, we only went for a milkshake." I say.
"No way."
"Yes way."
"We have a new buddy." She squeals.

•••

I pull the car into the parking lot and look at the clock that's in the dashboard. I'm 10 minutes early but can see Loki sitting in the window seat that we always used to sit at on my lunch breaks.