The boy who broke me

29.

The room is dimly lit, a somber mood has settled over the place. His heart monitor slowly beeps. If his eyes weren't open that sound would be the only indication that he's alive. His breathing is so shallow that you can barely see his chest rise and fall. He's face is pale and has a thin layer of face that covers his forehead and shines in the small amount of sunlight that's coming through the closed curtains.

"Oh Ryan." I say as I walk up to him and take his hand.
He just looks up at me and slightly tries to pull his lips up into a smile.
"He can't talk." Shane whispers.
Ryan tilts his head to the side as if to shake it. His face falls and he looks as if the worlds finally gotten him.

"Don't pull that face Ryan. We both know that you're strong enough to pull through this." I say, my voice is stern.
"You're one tough cookie, bro." Shane teases.
We both laugh and Ryan's eyes lift, his mood is improving.

We stay there and talk to Ryan about things that he doesn't have to reply to. The two of us must be in there for a good half hour before a nurse comes in and tells us that visiting hours are over but we're more than welcome to come back tomorrow.

She says it like she thinks I'm going home. Mom was completely worn out and tired so I sent her to the apartment to get some rest and I also promised her that I wouldn't leave this building.

Because she can't miss work or she'll lose her job and I have no place else to be since school only starts next week.

"Hey Ry, Caden and I are going to head home but we'll be back for the next visiting hours and I think I'll take Jenn with us, this place isn't doing her any good." Addy whispers as she tries not to wake Shane up before hugging me goodbye.

I wave at the three of them and then rest my head against the wall behind me since Shane fell asleep on my lap claiming that there was no other comfortable position. I fall asleep and gladly welcome the blank state of mind that comes with it.
•••

I'm jolted awake as Shane shoots up off of my lap and looks around like he's forgotten where we are. When he sees me sitting on the chair his face relaxes and he doesn't seem so afraid anymore.

"Are you okay ?" I ask.
"Yeah, bad dream I guess."
I nod and smile at him, not wanting to force him into telling me anything else.

"Ever since I came back I've been having these really messed up dreams. That one was just weirder than the rest. I usually only fall but in this one I had too much of it in me and I fell off the building just like usual but today I hit the ground and you were there telling me that it was all my fault." His voice trembles with emotion and I can't help but want to hug him.

We've all got things that will forever be a part of us, things that we aren't proud of or things that hurt us. But in the end you've got to put it in the past where it belongs and learn from it but not hold on to it.

Ryan's is that he is never going to be able to drink again because he'll just fall right back into bad habits, and that was probably the very reason that he's lying in hospital right now.

Shane is that he's bipolar and has parents that hate him and it all lead up to him becoming an addict. But it doesn't make him who he is, what makes him who he is is how he's always there for you no matter what and acts as if his main goal in life is to put a smile on someone's face.

Addy's is that she'll never have the family that she used to because her brothers pushed her away and it breaks her each time her parents suggest that they go someplace without the two boys because they're busy with school when she really knows that they don't want to see her and are most probably with Gabriel doing whatever it is that they do.