The boy who broke me

21.

I pull back slightly, smiling against his lips. He pulls me back in and holds me close, placing me on his lap so I can't move away or even move at all.

The days been filled with struggling to bake chocolate chip cookies, Loki opening his present and kissing me in a way that he hasn't in a very long time.

He'd pulled away at some point but he's come back and I honestly haven't ever been happier. He makes me smile, he makes the sun shine a little brighter and he's helped me through so much already that I can't say I'd know what to do without him.

He places a soft kiss on my neck and whispers "my turn." Before he lightly pushes me off his lap and walks away to fetch something outside. My hands start twitching and I shake, nervous about whether I did enough in my present to at least show him a small part of how much he means to me.

All I can do now is see what he got me and then I'll be able to determine whether or not I put enough effort into it.

I lie back onto the soft new pillows that mom bought and close my eyes in an attempt to calm down. His footsteps softly tap against the worn out wooden floors as he makes his way back from outside.

"Come my angel, don't fall asleep just yet." He whispers and kisses my forehead softly, the couch shifts beneath me as he sits down. I open my eyes and smile at him, he's smiling back and has a box in his hands.

"Whats that ?" i ask, lifting my eyebrows in question.

He smirks, "Open it and see."

He hands me the box and on top is a card reading '365 reasons why i fell in love.' A warm feeling starts in my chest and spreads all the way into my face and even my fingertips.

My cheeks light up just like they usually do when i'm embarrassed or afraid and right now i feel all the emotions that i possibly could.

i open the box and its filled with hundreds of pastel cards, 365 pastel cards if i had to guess. I pull out the first one and on it is written in Loki's extremely messy handwriting but to me that just makes it all the more adorable because he didn't try and hide it, we're on that level at last.

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU REMINDED ME THAT THERE CAN BE A HAPPY ENDING TO A SAD STORY.

I LOVE THAT I WAS YOUR FIRST KISS.

I LOVE THE WAY YOU REFUSE TO HOLD MY HAND UNLESS I LINK OUR FINGERS.

I LOVE THE WAY YOUR EYES CREASE WHEN YOU SMILE.

I LOVE THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS WILLING TO SEE THE GOOD IN PEOPLE.

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE HONEST.

I LOVE THE WAY YOU ALWAYS TRY YOUR BEST.

The tears roll down my cheeks and i don't wipe them away because i want to remember these tears, i want to remember that i cried them because i was happy. Loki's watching me intently, a worried expression on his face.

I reach out and take his hand, then i pull him closer and kiss him softly on the mouth. Trying to show him how much he and those words mean to me. He laughs against my lips and i pull back, confused.

"i thought you hated it and would have preferred a necklace or something." he sighs.

"No, this is perfect. Thank you Loki. You've pulled me through a lot of dark places and always put me before yourself, i love you and that box filled with cards so so much and you do know that the way you're here for me, i'm here for you ?"

"i know, Ry. I knew since the day you let me in." He smiles. "but that's not the only thing you're getting." he says as he wipes the last of my happy tears.

Behind the couch was Loki's guitar, its full of old post card stickers and so many other things that i lose count, he sits down on the floor and crosses his legs so that he can rest his guitar on his lap. He looks up at me, winks and then the music follows. I don't recognize the notes that he plays. I close my eyes and let the songs words fill me, every open space within me. His voice is rough and and raspy with emotion, the way his voice lifts and falls with the words reminds me of the wind and how it swifts and skips freely.

As he strums the last chord, i know that this is forever. That right now, this moment is something that will remain with me until i take my last breath. I know that even if we end up being just a high school couple that made it to university but eventually just drifted apart that even then i'll still love him and the way i feel right now.

"i love you, Rylin Dresden."

"love you too."

"cookies ?" He asks, in a way that makes you think that he didnt just sing his heart out but was rather telling the corniest joke that there is.

i laugh but nod anyway.

...

Yesterday passed by in a blur, but it was a pretty good blur.

I lie in bed and listen to Ryan, Jenn, Addy and Caden who must be in Ryans room due to how clearly i can hear them. They're talking about next year and how we're all just a hour apart, but then the conversation takes a turn and they bring up the road trip that i had told Ryan and Addy about, until now it had just seemed like something that would be fun but probably wouldn't happen because of Caden, Ad's strict parents and Jenn and Ryans in between stage.

But now it might actually happen, we might actually go on a holiday. Ryan and i fantasized about going to Spain but Mom didnt think it would be smart of us to go all that way and use all our money when we could go somewhere closer with our friends, we were both a little disappointed but we saw where she was coming from.

i jump out of my bed, pajamas and all and sprint my way to them. Yelling ROAD TRIP at the top of my lungs the whole way there. Their eyes are big with surprise but when i smile my big toothy smile at them, they all laugh.

"We're going on a road trip."   Addy says in a sing song voice.

And we all whoop in agreement.
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Thank you for reading this far.
XXX
abigail