The boy who broke me

20.

LOKI'S POV.

i spent the whole of yesterday shopping and came up empty, none of those mundane gifts fit in the way i needed them to.

They wouldn't physically show Rylin how much i loved her. So i've come to the conclusion that nothing would, i'd have to find a different way. i wrote a song, inspired by the strongest and most pure person in my life, the greatest love of my life. Rylin Dresden.

Shes what i wake up for in the mornings, what makes me smile when everyone else is pushing me closer to allowing those weak, extremely weak tears roll down my cheeks. but its her, shes what keeps me strong in those moments. I pour all that i am into the lyrics, all that she makes me.

Rylin often falls into a deep sadness because of what shes been through, of what shes still going through and most of the time i join in on her sadness.

Allowing myself to grieve, but its never for long, because my girl cant handle being sad. The idea of it breaks it even more than what the actual emotion does.

So i'm the strong one, the one that helps her when things get rough inside of her because when you love someone you're willing to put yourself second.

With me she shines a little brighter and laughs a little louder and thats all i can ask for. For her to be happy because that's the girl i fell in love with, the one whose smile reaches her eyes and creates a dimple in her left cheek. Shes amazing, gorgeous and all i'd ever need.

And although i do my best, give all my strength. sometimes the pain becomes too much and i have to take a step back, to take a look at what i have and feel whole with it. I have to remind myself that despite losing half my family, im okay,

Even though i'll always know that they'll be a part of me, of what i lost and i cant replace them. No matter how hard i've tried to push the memories to the back of my mind, they always fight their way back to the front of the line and i crumple under their weight. the pressure of It all becomes too much.

Pain demands to be felt. And i manage to successfully avoid succumbing to the bone crushing sadness. But every now and again i have to allow myself to grieve my loss.

The day passes by in a blur filled with lyrics and notes, the guitar strings beneath my fingers vibrate and sing the tune i will them to play. My fingers grow numb and there's a distant throbbing in my arm thats pleading with me to set the instrument down and let it rest but i push through until the last note is strung and the last word leaves my lips and its in that moment that i breathe, finally able to leave the window i've been sitting at. Because right now, i'm happy with what i've got and i think Rylin will be too.

"Loki ?" a voice yells from behind my closed bedroom door.

I glance at the time and realize that i've been gone all day, Tyla is fourteen but she looks after me in ways that i believe only a mother could, she's my little sister and my best friend. We've been through hell together and managed to pull each other through it.

i walk over to the door and open it, peering outside to see if shes still there. She stands in front of my door, a worried expression on her face. I smile, showing her that i'm fine and wasn't wallowing in my sorrows. She seems to buy what i'm selling because she smiles back at me and i know i'm in the clear.

"Hungry ?" i ask.

"I always am." She says, smiling innocently at me.

"And don't we know it, come on. I'll make us something.

She nods and we make our way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

...

As i chop the onions into fine slices, Tyla sits on the counter, watching me as i chop. She's set on being the cook in the house, just like mom was.