KHIP-HOP Mini Series

Gray 04

"Everything is a lie but I can give you my heart.''  

I think the worst part of being in love is getting your heart broken.

But I didn't just get my heart broken, I felt it shatter the moment I realized when my heart was filled with love for him...his was tainted with lust for her. 

I understood now why he chose her, it was simple.

Gray and I would never be able to have a future together. 

Our differences were greater than our love...more like my love for him. But despite all this I still wished him well, I still prayed for his success and happiness. 

But a part of me still clung to a chance even with all this pain I still somehow wished he could open his eyes and realize that maybe I was the one after all.

-

A few months passed and as time does what it does it helped heal and make me better. I soon learned to forget all the things that I was used to doing when he was around. 

I stopped staying up late waiting for a phone call, or a text message. I stopped going to our favorite place, or the clubs where he'd usually be at with the rest of the crew. I stopped doing everything that would bring flashes of him into my life, and I hoped put of all this he'd feel the loneliest. 

-

We were celebrating the fact that I got a new job, everyone of my college buddies were here and John who I'm not really sure if we're official yet or not insisted we got out to eat somewhere nice and special. 

I decided to dress up, something I rarely ever did but should. Ever since the whole break up thing with Gray I'd been really self conscious about my image and had gone through a few hair cuts, dye jobs and weird fashion trends just to boost my self confidence. 

John however walked into my life all of a sudden and told me that none of that mattered as long as I cared about who I was. 

And here I was. 

I tried my best not to concern myself about things like that anymore, it helped a lot that John was by my side but I didn't want to depend on a man anymore, I wanted to be loyal to my righteous self.

After I combed my hair a bit a soft tap came from my door. I walked over to the door pushing my bangs aside before pulling it open. 

I froze my mouth hanging open from the shock. "Hey." 

Why was I shocked?

He was back again, but this time I wasn't going to move aside, this time things were different...times had changed. I no longer felt that comfort I did when he was around now all I saw as I looked at him was pain.

I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest. "This again?" I muttered. 

Gray stayed quiet, he seemed to notice the change too but his eyes roamed over my body, at first he tried to conceal his shock over how I looked but the more he looked the hungrier his expression grew. 

I grew impatient. "What do you want?" 

He nervously looked my way. "Lisa I just wanted to see you." He confessed, that sly smile appears and suddenly I realized that maybe he was just clueless. 

"For what Gray? To see if I'd let what you did get to me?" I scoff with a roll of my eyes. 

Why was he pissing me off so much? 

"No, I just miss you... a lot." 

"I don't." I snap. "So maybe you should just leave, don't you think?" Gray flinched at the sound of my words, that sly smile slowly turned into a scowl. 

He moved towards me, reaching for me but I brushed him off. I wouldn't allow him to touch me, never again. The story of us died a long time ago, what I felt for him now was pain, pain from what he'd done to me. 

"It's alright." He buries his hands into his pockets. "You should hate me, you should bad mouth me, ignore me, but don't tell me you still don't feel anything." His words took me aback, I was distracted by what he had said that I didn't have enough time to dodge his actions.

He caught me in his arms, one hand looped around my waist and the other brushing strands of hair from my face. "Don't push me away." He murmurs. 

On instinct the palm of my hands smacked his chest in attempts to get him away from me. Gray leaned into my face and that's when I stopped, a soft gasp left my lips and suddenly he was looking me in the eyes.

Why did he have to be so beautiful? 

"Lisa listen to me because I'm only going to say this once." We were both breathing hard. "I want you, no I need you. I need you to be with me, I need you to be the girl I wake up with every morning, I need you to be the girl who has my kids..."

My eyes were watering and I had to take a deep breath but all I could inhale was his scent that was currently suffocating me. "Lisa baby, jebal." 

I couldn't breathe or think straight, so I did the only thing I could I cried, right there and then I bawled my eyes out like a fool in front of him...because of him. I cried so hard that I was gasping for air and Gray was trying to calm me down but not after all this. 

He was cupping either side of my face kneeling in front of me, watching me with a sad expression of his own. My eyes focused on the small tattoo on his collar bone, the one identical to mine. It hurt more seeing that now. 

"We're fucked." I say. I point over at the tattoo on his skin, my finger accidentally brushes it. "The guy then...wouldn't have hurt me." 

After that his shoulders slack and his grip on me loosens, he looks away and just lets the rest of his body fall to the ground. I push myself away from him and stand on my own two feet a few feet away from us is John who must have seen this whole thing unfold.

Without another look back at Gray I step around him and head over to John. The further I walk away the more my features start to relax. John doesn't question me the moment we meet each other he just gives me a half smile before linking our hands together. 

And as John is helping me inside his car with my seat belt I hear the roar of an engine and Gray's car zoom past the lot.

-to be continued-

-who should I do an update on next?-