KHIP-HOP Mini Series

Min Yoongi 05

Min Yoongi didn't love me.

I knew that much, I just fooled myself into letting the lie outlive itself a little longer. I though that I could hold onto this hand a little longer then what it should have. Instead we were too deep into the mess we created together, in this sin to realize any of it.

That smile he showed me was warm and bright and full of love, but at night the tremors, the name he called in his sleep it showed his true feelings. None of which showed any affection towards me.

"Does it hurt less now?" I'd ask him.

He turns his head, his fingers pressing the keys on the piano mindlessly. "Yes..."

I looked away then, my eyes tearing up knowing the truth but pretending it didn't hurt. Because it shouldn't hurt me as much as it did unlike Yoongi his one sided love was gone..while mine was alive, well, and breathing.

I wonder which hurt more though, loving someone you could never see again or loving someone who could never love you back.

I didn't mind it so much at first, being used that way. If it was him, as long as it would be him I didn't mind being the shield, to shield the pain of his heart by feigning a love I truly deeply felt inside.

It was sick.

Pretending to be lovers when I was really in love.

I wanted it to last forever.

But the clock was ticking and the more the days past I think he came to notice how perfect at pretending at love I was, so perfect that it seemed real. And that's when he grew cold and distant.

"You don't really love me, do you?" He'd ask over the phone.

He was away right now, touring. I could feel my heart race thinking maybe just maybe my feelings might have gotten through to him. "You know it's not real, matji?" (right)

On the other side of the world where he was I must have sounded fine. I forced myself to speak the words as numbly and effortlessly as possible. "I know,we could never really love each other."

He chuckled. "I'm a horrible person aren't I?" He continues, I sealed my lips shut as the tears trailed down my cheeks. "You were always too pure and innocent for me, Mika." He pauses. "Komawo."

I could hear the voices of screaming fans in the background. "I have to go." He says.

"Yoongi!"I say desperate but he clicks.

Dropping the phone, I sprawl across the bed and sob into the sheets. Gripping the covers I curl into a bawl and look out the window, the clouds a dark grey.

I knew it had to end.

It should end.

And after today, it would.

(1 more chapter)