KHIP-HOP Mini Series

Gray 02

~ Only fools fall for you, only fools do what I do~

The first day I met Gray I couldn't believe he was someone close to his thirties. 

I mean how can someone look that good? 

He fooled me at first, with his big smile and cheesy jokes. I couldn't for with all my heart believe that this fool could fool me. 

But he did. 

And a long time at that. 

A part of me denied it at first. 

I mean that man was my first love, my first everything. Even if at times I grew to hate him from how much he'd hurt me...but he always came back. 

To me at least. 

Sure I'd been so sure of him cheating on me at times but just when I was about to prove to myself that he could be just as bad as Jay and the rest of em he proved me wrong. And a little part of me would come to love him more after that. 

I wanted a future with him...but our future right now looked bleak. 

"I'll be back later tonight after the show...you sure you won't come?" He's concerned, I can tell by the look in his eyes and sound of his voice. I've hardly spoken to him since that night he received a phone call from whoever the fuck Yura was. 

I shake my head. "Tell Jay I said hi and to get married before his sperm count dies off." Gray grins and I can't help but smile back too. 

Moments like these take me back to the old times. 

"I'll come back early." He promises. 

"Okay." I hold his eyes, he's lying to me, I can see it in his eyes. Ever since he's come back something about him has changed. He isn't the same anymore...this is a new him mixed in with the pieces of the old him I came to love. 

He breaks contact first, heading through the door with that intoxicating colon I hate so much. I hear the echo of his footsteps before the sound of the door closes. Once I'm alone, I sink back into my covers.

I wanted to fight back, to demand answers to whoever it was he was talking to behind my back, but right now as I laid here it's like I was practically giving him away.

I wasn't so sure of myself anymore. 

-

I think being self conscious so much started when I became aware of how big of an artist Gray was, how much and how far his dream came and so did the company. Comparing myself to him and those models or featured girls in his videos didn't help much either. 

He was always surrounded by something beautiful, he was beautiful and I couldn't cope with how he came to like me.

Maybe I was just that fuel that kept his dream alive, but now with the way things were I'm not so sure there's a use for me now.

I wanted to be brave to have that courage again, so I forced myself out this dam bed and changed into something decent like and headed out the door.

I paused looking at myself in the mirror, the small tattoo on my collar bone the one matching his caught my eyes and memories of the drunken night we got it resurfaces and a little part of me still hopes that maybe we still can be those fools we were back then.

But I was about to find out the only fool here was me.