Ed Sheeran Imagines ♥

Emetophobia

"Everyone is scared of something."
Ed told me this when I first confessed my fear of the dark to him.

"It's okay to be scared," I assured him when he told that he was terrified of heights.

"I won't judge you," he calmed me when I was feeling stupid about being scared of thunder storms.

"Don't be ashamed," I said when he told me about his emetophobia, his fear of vomit.

Before that, I didn't even know that a phobia of being sick, or seeing other people being sick, existed.
He explained that he's been having this fear as long as he could remember, but he didn't know the reason for it.
It was quite a surprise to me at first, but of course I've never thought of judging or, let alone, leaving him for it. And although I reassured him that it was okay and that it didn't bother me, he still was very embarrassed about it.

Of course we had our ups and downs. It wasn't always easy, especially around winter time because I could catch a cold very easily.
So whenever I got sick, he used to lock himself in a room for hours just to avoid a panic attack. Sometimes he would skip whole meals because he was too scared of also getting sick and I had to practically force him to eat something.
At one point, it got so bad that he didn't even protest when I suggested to get help. He tried therapy and surprisingly it actually helped him. I've always been there by his side, supporting and encouraging him the best I could.
It got better and I was sure he would overcome this phobia soon.

Then, a few weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant. He was very happy about it and so was I. We both loved kids and we were ready to be a family.
But after telling him about the morning sickness most women get during pregnancy,  he looked less excited than before, which was understandable.
Ed was on the road to recovery and the last thing he needed was a wife who threw up in the morning at least 4 times a week. He pretended that it didn't affect him, but I knew him better.

I was praying to be as lucky as some women I've read about on the Internet, who have no morning sickness at all. But, like always, the odds weren't in my favor.

As soon as I woke up this morning, I felt a wave of nausea overcome me. I immeadiately got up and rushed into the bathroom, where puked out, what felt like, everything I'd eaten the day before.
"Shit," I exclaimed, trying to catch my breath.

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by Ed's voice.
"A...Alice? Do you need h...help?" he asked and I could hear the slight panic in his voice.

"No, I'm fine, Ed! Don't come in here," It came out, sounding harsher than I intended, but I didn't want him to end up getting sick too, and freaking out.

"A...are you sure?"

"I'm fine, just go back to bed. I'll be there in a few minutes," I told him, trying to sound convincingly.
There was silence for a few seconds, before he responded.

"Uhm, alright..." He said with hesitation.

After making sure I was done emptying my stomach, I got up from the ground to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth.

"I'd be really happy if this was the first and last time you made mummy puke," I mumbled and put my hands on my growing baby bump. Then, I took a deep breath and slowly opened the bathroom door, only to see Ed sitting on the bed with his head between his hands.

"Ed? Are you alright?" I asked, carefully approaching him. He lifted his head, just a bit, but enough for me to see the tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry!" he cried, covering his face with his hands, so I wouldn't see him crying.

"Hey," I said softly, crawling onto the bed and sitting down accross from him. "There's nothing to apologize for."

"I...I just hate that you'll have to go through this almost every morning now. I want to be there for you but I can't because of this fucking phobia! I'm so sorry!" He was sobbing by now.

I moved closer to wrap my arms around his trembling body.
"It's okay, Teddy. I know you'd be there if you could, but you can't and please believe me when I say it's fine," I said quietly while soothingly rubbing his back.

"I just want to live a normal life," he whispered, sounding more desperate than ever.

"I know you do, Teddy, and you will. It'll be hard but remember that you're never alone. You have me and the peanut here." I gently took his hands and placed them on my belly.

He was staring down at the small bump with watery eyes, blinking a few times.

"It's gonna get easier, Teddy. But not today," I told him softly, wiping a tear from the side of his cheek.

This was so difficult to write but I did it yey!