love is easy

chapter 30 - i'm so sorry

dougie pov - i couldn't do it anymore. I felt worthless. I accepted that i would never see the twins or harry again, why would he want to see me after i made him feel that angry and heart broken? I had to end this. The twins would be safe and loved by the most incredible man. They would never have to live with me or my mistakes. I walked into the kitchen and opened the door above the microwave to the medicine cupboard. I found pills strong enough to end all of this, the pain, the heartache, everything. I popped each of them out of the packet and swallowed them. I quickly text tom and danny 'thank you for everything. You have been the greatest friends i could ever ask for. Be good to the twins and tell harry i will love him always.' I lay on the sofa ready to fall asleep forever.

tom pov - i knocked on the door and no one answered. 'Doug i know you're in there, open up.' I banged on the door a few more times when my phone pinged. I took it out to check it, it was from doug. I read the text knowing exactly what he meant and what he was doing. 'Doug fucking open up!' I yelled banging the door, sobbing at the thought of dougie dead behind the door. 'Dougie don't you dare do this.' I screamed before using all of my force to break the door down. I ran into the living room to see dougie lying on the sofa with his eyes closed and a limp heartbeat. 'Doug. Dougie. Wake up. Please wake up.' I screamed at his half dead body. I called 999 and they got to the house in minutes, resuscitating him on the sofa. I was in a state of total shock, i couldn't believe it. I stood there sobbing, waiting for the paramedics to tell me he was okay. Harry meant so much to him, this happened. I clambered into the back of the ambulance with doug, paramedics hooking up different wires to him and supplying his lungs with oxygen. They took him through to the operation room. He was under general anaesthetic whilst getting his stomach pumped. I sat in the waiting room anxiously, just wanting to know if dougie was going to be okay, alive. The doctor came out and i scrambled to my feet. 'He's going to be okay, he'll have his own room and you're more than welcome to sit in there with him.' he told me. 'Thank you so much.' i replied. Knowing that he was alive gave me so much relief, i couldn't imagine my life without dougie. Everyone loved him. I grabbed my phone from my pocket it only rang a few times before harry answered, but i cut in before he even said his first syllable. 'Do you know what you've done?' i questioned him. 'What?' Harry said confused. 'I'm at the hospital.' I told him, trying to get him to connect the dots. 'Why?' He said, still just as confused as last time. 'He overdosed harry.' I told him. 'Fuck' was what harry responded with and i heard him sob as he put his shoes on. 'Right i'll be there in half an hour.' He said sniffling. 'Okay. See you in a bit.' i said and hung up the phone. 

harry pov - i ran into the hospital and asked what room he was in. I got there to see his tiny body looking so damaged, i didn't even get to look at his for a second before i dropped to the floor to sob. Tom came over and wrapped his arms around me, comforting me, helping me catch my breath. I slowly stood up and walked over and grabbed dougies hand. I sobbed into it, the thought of him wanting to end his life because of my jealousy made me feel sick and all i wanted was to hold him and tell him that i loved him. I bought his hand to my lips and kissed it leaving my lips on his hand for a while. His eyes slowly opened and my heart broke all over again. 'H-Harry?' Doug said, dazed and confused. 'Baby i'm so sorry. I was in the wrong. Why did you do this to yourself?' I asked him, letting the tears stream down my face. 'i couldn't live without you and the twins. I was so broken, i thought it would be easier.' He confessed, crying to me. I climbed into the bed so i could lie next to him and hold him close to me after so long. 'I'm so sorry harry.' He said to me, sobbing into my chest. 'No baby, this is all my fault. I'm so in love with you dougie. I never meant for this to happen.' I said, still crying. 'I didn't think you were coming back and i started over thinking.' He told me. I knew exactly what over thinking meant, but i knew he wouldn't cut over his new tattoo. I knew him too well. I pushed down his jeans a bit and saw all the new cuts on his hips. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. 'This is all my fault. I was being a dick and a jealous one at that.' I told him. 'It's fine harry, i talked myself into thinking it was my fault and i couldn't bare being without you.' He said to me. 'The twins would have been devastated. They wanted to see you everyday, making me cry myself to sleep every night.' I confessed. 'I knew it was wrong, but i knew they'd be safe with you harry.' he said to me with a genuine smile. A smile i had missed so so much. 'I love you so fucking much.' I told him and pulled him so close and felt his tears fall onto my chest. 'Please never leave me again.' He said to me. 'Never baby, i promise.' I reassured him. I never wanted to feel like this again and i never wanted dougie to do this again. Ever. I was too in love with him to ever let him go again. If i lost him, my whole world would have shattered.