Taming Sawyer (editing)

Chapter 33

"I didn't want to hurt her," I slowly cracked the door open to see him talking on the phone as I suspected. "You knew how I felt about her and you ruined it all," Was he talking to his dad or Olivia? It may be someone I don't know. "Why the hell did you come back anyways? What did I do to you that was so fucking awful that makes me deserve this torture?" He was now yelling. "Please just leave me alone now, you already ruined the most happiest thing I had in my life. There's nothing left for you to destroy," His voice calmed down slightly, yet he was hyperventilating from his angry screaming. I'm surprised Anna hasn't heard and ran to him to find out what was wrong.

All I want to do is run in there and hug him and tell him everything is alright. That I'm alright. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I might be longing for something more with him, but it's better than being miserable without by my side. He gives me a sense of comfort and stability, even though our own relationship was rocky.

I knocked once again, hoping he would hear it this time. I slowly peeped my head through the door as Sawyer saw me.

"I've gotta go," he hung up the phone and stood up to walk over to me. "What do you need?" his whole attitude was sad and gloomy.

"I made breakfast," I say with a smile to try and liven up his mood. "Want some?"

"Yea," he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the kitchen with him. Him holding my hand sent shivers up my arm. "Looks and smells delicious," Sawyer gave me a smile that would've fooled me that he was happy if I didn't just witness him yelling vigorously at someone on the phone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I went home after I cleaned up breakfast, and texted Rein to let her know I was home and ready to talk. She's been giving me looks all week and now it's finally time to communicate some relived issues. When I was crying over Sawyer those two weeks, Rein made me promise to stay far from him and don't let him in so easily. Yet I didn't do any of that. I forgave him. I let him kiss me. I went to his house. I sleep in his bed. I wore his clothes. I made him breakfast. Why? Because I still love him.

I knew Rein would have a hard time grasping this since she's never been one connected to her emotions. She's dating Elijah, but he's definitely the sensitive one in the relationship. She didn't see why people are so mushy and lovey all the time. That was until she met Elijah and found out how enlightening and refreshing it is to have someone in a romantic and emotional way. It's definitely worth living for. Especially when you get treated like a lady, it makes the experience better by a ton.

I was sitting on my bed, scrolling through clothing websites, as Rein stormed in and sat herself on the edge of my bed with her arms crossed. "Speak," is all she said after she got herself settled.

"I forgave him," I said hanging my head low, ready for the lecture that was awaiting me.

"What happened?" Was all I got.

"I called him, I told him I hated him. The conversation lead out to both of us confessing we still have feelings for one another, but we kept it as friends. I want to be with him, Rein. But I can't get the thought of him possibly hurting me again out my head,"

"There's always a possibility of him hurting you no matter what. Any relationship holds that vulnerability," Her eyes were focused on the bedsheets instead of my eyes. "Do you know the full details?"

"No, the thing I know differently is that someone came to see him," I kept the whole foster care and his past out of my mouth. He wouldn't want everyone knowing, that's why a lot of people at school don't even know.