Don't Talk About It

What I Said To Her

Lucas POV
She quickly gets up and lets go of my hand. She picks up the books that she dropped and walks away as quickly as she could. She even tripped a little as she ran away. It reminded me how much I miss her and her clumsiness. I was going to say sorry but, she walked away before I could. I pick up my book and I realize that it wasn't my book. She must have grabbed my book, and I grabbed hers. That means that we have to exchange books, that means that we have to see eachother, and talk to each other. I don't want that. I don't want to talk to her, or see her. And I doubt she wants to see me. Not after what had happened between her and I. Not after what I said to her.
Flashback. 5 months ago.
It was a couple of days after Farkles party. I was walking Riley home after we did our homework at Topangas. We're outside of her apartment complex, and she takes me up to the roof.
Lucas - What are you doing? You're going to fall.
She makes her way to the edge of the roof. Her feet dangling down. She turns her head around, and stares at me. I knew what she was thinking, so I sat down next to her.
Riley - Scary huh?
Lucas - At first it's..
Riley - Frightening. Once you stop feeling and just look at how beautiful the world is, that scary feeling, goes away.
I stare at her. She's beautiful I think to myself. But then i realize something.
Lucas - You've changed Riley.
Riley - How so?
Lucas - You're not the same person that I met on the subway years ago.
Riley - Is that a bad thing?
Riley and I told each other everything. We loved talking to each other because we understood each other. We didn't judge one another. We listened and accepted. Or so I thought..
Lucas - I'm not sure.
Riley - Do you not like the person I am today?
Lucas - Riley of course I do.
Riley - You like the person I was when I was 12, and not the person I am now.
I remain silent, starring at the sky
Lucas - I like the person you are Riley.
Riley - How have I changed?
Lucas - You're not afraid anymore.
Riley - I see that as a good thing.
Lucas - Is it? You used to be nice, and sweet, and.. you used to be Riley.
Riley - I don't understand what you're trying to say.
Lucas - I miss the old Riley. The one who didn't keep her feelings to herself
Riley - I always kept my feelings to myself Lucas.
I stayed quiet for a second, trying to remember. It took me a while, but once I figured it out, oh boy..