My civilisation (D.D)

Fifty: Broken.

Looking at the world through the double glazed glass for the 100th time today I sighed. I had spent the last two days sitting on the windowsill constantly staring out the window. I would barely eat or move or talk.

I wouldn't be touched my anyone and every time someone would get close to me I would flinch.

I wasn't sure what was wrong with me.

Was there something wrong with me?

Because I wanted to run into Daryl's arms and cry in his chest but something was stopping me.

I don't understand what's stopping me.

I allowed myself to be held by Daryl after the incident but now I can't stand to even be looked at.

And I knew it was hurting Daryl.

But I just couldn't bring myself to snap out of it.

Every time I looked at my wrists I saw the bruises and I relived that night.

I know he didn't actually rape me. But he very nearly did and I got annoyed at myself that I relied on someone else for help.

I know it's okay to get help but for some reason I felt so angry at myself.

On the first day Denise tried to re-stitch my face and examine my body but I wouldn't have any of it.

Glenn tried to get me to talk to him in the afternoon but he failed.

On the second day Avery and Rosita tried to get me to practice fighting with them but they failed.

Carl had tried to get me to teach him some more knife throwing but failed.

Daryl would always try and get me to sleep but he failed.

After that I couldn't handle anymore. I locked the door and wouldn't allow anyone in.

Others had tried to talk to me but I didn't want to see anyone.

I didn't like the attention on me and I didn't like feeling like a victim.

I didn't want my family to see me so broken.

I used to be so strong. What happened to me?

When I heard a knock on the door I simply ignored it like always and continued to gaze out of the window with Daryl's jacket still over my shoulders.

I sighed remembering the envelope I never opened.

For the first time in days I got up out of the windowsill and walked towards the bed of the spare room where the envelope was.

I then sat myself back on the windowsill under the sunbeams and opened the envelope to see a crumpled up piece of paper.

15.11.

Was all it said.

I held the piece of paper in my hands. What an earth could that mean?

I leant my head against the wall when I heard another knock at the door.

Didn't they understand how broken I was?

Maybe it wasn't just because of last night.

Maybe it was also the fact this happened to me before.

Only no on rescued me.

Blinking back anymore tears I mentally cursed when I could hear the person was now banging on the door harder.

"Ophelia it's me. Please open up baby."