My civilisation (D.D)

Ninety three: Stupidity and impulse.

Perhaps it was the heat that was slowly burning me alive that caused me to end up sitting on the edge of the double bed which was covered in mountains of pillows and duvets I didn't need.

Observing the small toy solider Avery had given me in my hands did I twirl it around as I let out a deep huff. I'd spend most nights just doing this, I couldn't sleep and I just felt ultimately restless.

It had been a few days since Avery's death, and I was coping alright on the outside. I was doing my best to be sociable and pleasant around people. I was making sure I was eating and drinking enough, and I was doing my best to stay strong and take care of myself.

Hearing sleepy noises coming from the redneck who was beginning to stir did I slowly turn my head around to see he was propping himself up on one elbow as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Wha' ye doin' up?" He asked in a gruff morning voice.

"Nothing baby. Go back to sleep."

He looked as though he was about to go back to sleep, but clearly had a change of heart as he crawled over the bed until he was kneeling behind me. His hair was all over the place, covering his face like a damn bush as his raspy voice echoed through the quite room.

"I know ye miss her. Ye don't 'ave to pretend."

"You're right i do miss her. But I'll be alright. I always am. Don't worry."

"Yer  copin' well." He sighed. "Too well."

"Got too. Gotta think straight right now. Going of the rails won't win us this war." I shrugged. "Anyway what about you?"

"Wha' abou' me?"

I paused, picking my words carefully did I practically whisper.

"I know you still feel responsible for Glenn."

"Don't." He huffed.

"Daryl you weren't responsible! You-"

"Stop."

"It wasn't your fault."

Watching him dive back to his spot on the mattress did he burry his head into a pillow as he drowned out any words I was speaking. Well then.

"Yeah." I scoffed. "Real mature."

Shaking my head as I folded my arms over my chest did I hear him mumble into his pillow which he knew irritated the fuck out of me.

"Sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear."

"Nothin'." He grumbled.

"That's what I thought asshole."

I bit the inside of my cheek as he held up his middle finger briefly before slamming his hand back down on the bed. Typical.

"Screw you Daryl." I huffed. "Seriously, screw you."

Pushing myself up of the side of the bed did I begin to put on my combat boots as I stood over by the small door so I could leave quicker once I had tied the laces.

"Where ye goin'?" He asked, slowly sitting up.

"For a walk."

"Ophelia it's fucking midnigh'."

"As long as I'm away from your moody ass Daryl, does it look like I really care?"