My civilisation (D.D)

Twenty seven: Sibling time.

Crouched down at the back of the barn in between Eugene and Rosita I was rubbing my hands together enjoying the warmth of the cackling fire as the rain poured, thunder crashed and the wind whistled.

I took out my Cherokee rose and twirled it in my hands. A part of me wanted to throw it away, erase Daryl Dixon from my life but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I've had this flower for around two years and I just couldn't bare to throw it away.

I saw Daryl's gaze flicker to the Rose I held in my hand and I noticed his eyes water through the billows of smoke.

Sighing I put the rose back into my pocket and moved closer to the flames.

As Rick spoke through the fire I looked up at the man who now had a beard and leant my head on Rosita's shoulder.

"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this. But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them." Rick sighed looking briefly at Judith who being cradled in her brothers arms.

"Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with. When I was a kid... I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so... so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war. And then after a few years of pretending he was dead... he made it out alive. That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves... that we are the walking dead."

Shaking his head Daryl began to poke at the fire.

"We ain' them. We're not them!" He growled.

Sighing I pushed myself of the ground and walked towards the double doors that were shaking from the wind and put a hand on Ricks shoulder.

"Imma take watch."

Nodding his head he kissed my temple and smiled softly.

"Be careful."

"Always am Sheriff." I saluted as Carl came jogging next to me and had a pleading look on his face as he looked at his dad.

"Can I go too?"

"Alright." Rick sighed patting his back before me and Carl opened the doors and sat ourselves outside.

We both laid on the ground flat on our backs, Carl's head rested on my stomach and i had my hands behind my head as I looked up at the sky although it was a blur due to the heavy rain.

We were laying under a small roof as the storm seemed to get worse.

"Yunno whenever it rained like this me and my brother would always run out of the house and sit ourselves on the highest tree we could find and just watch the rain fall."

"Even when there was lightning?" The boy asked.

"Especially when there was lightning." I chuckled thinking back to the memories of me and my brother.

"But aren't you meant to avoid trees when there's lightning?"

"Sure are bud, that's why we did it...our life's were shit, our farther was an asshole and we didn't have much to live for."

"Why what did your farther do?"

"It's a long story bud." I sighed.

"I've got time."

"I don't know I-"

"I know he did bad stuff, I've seen the scars on your back, I know you killed him at Terminus and I see the hatred in your eyes when he's mentioned."

"How have you seen my scars?"

"Back at the farm when Shane tore your jacket of. I was strolling around the farm and neither of you saw me...I'm sorry."

"Don't be. What's done is done."

"...did he hurt you?"

"He did, messed me up mentally and physically. Don't know who had it worse me or my brother."

"I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve that."

"No one does."

"How did you get away?"

"There was a point in my life when my brother left me for some chick. That was my breaking point. I packed a back pack and ran away when I was 15. Lived on the streets, did drugs, got shit faced drunk, stole, ended up in juvie a few times. Went to a few different schools and never once did I go back home."

"How did you and your brother make up?"

"He bailed me out of jail when I was 18. Our relationship was never the same after but it was still a relationship and then shit hit the fan and I've never loved him more."

Holding my hand Carl softly spoke so no one would hear.

"I'm sorry...i shouldn't have asked you about your life story I know it hurts you when you talk about it."

"No no. Your my little brother Carl and siblings don't keep secrets right?"

"Right."

I ruffled his hair and chuckled lightly before he continued speaking.

"What happened with you and Daryl?"

I paused before words finally left my mouth.
I thought only Rick knew.

"What do you mean?"

"Your not talking to each other."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah. Everyone knows something happened."

"We had a big argument. Said some not very nice things to each other."

"But you still love eachother?"

"I'll always love that redneck. But that doesn't matter now. We can't go back."

"He still loves you."

"How do you know?"

"He looks at you the way my dad would look at mum."

Lori. My eyes still water at the memory of what I had to do when she went into labour. I remember every time i look at my hunting knife.

"He does?"

"You guys should talk. You both love each other and your both moody now."

"Me? Moody?" I laughed sarcastically putting my hand over my heart.

"Well not right now." He laughed lightly.

As I was about to open my mouth I could hear the soft cries of Judith and me and Carl walked back into the barn but as he went to tend to Judith I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I've got her. You get some sleep bud."

"But no ones on watch."

"I'll be 5 minutes."

Nodding his head he smiled softly as I planted a kiss on his forehead and walked towards Judith who was beginning to cry louder.