Too much too young

7

"your dad, what that grey guy" johnny asked.

I couldnt speak i just nodded, i needed to know for definite. I hadnt seen my dad in over 10 years i could have been wrong but i didnt think i was.

Red approached us and congratulated me on my buy. "excuse me red, do you know who that man is" i asked as i pointed at the sickly grey man.

"thats Shaun kilne, he works with horses at the rehabilitation ranch" red explaiend,

"whts that" i asked.

"its where ex cons work, sort of a rehabilitation thing. " red explained

"what did he do" johnny asked.

"its not my place to say a mans offenses" red replied.

"im his daughter, he left my family when i was a kid" i found myself saying.

"oh i didnt know he had a daughter, im sorry. he served time for possession and theft" red replied before leaving us alone.

i ran my fingers through my hair, i couldn't belive the man who had ruined my life was stood just yards away. Anger bubbled inside me. i needed to confront him, i couldnt stop myself from walking towards him. Years of resentment was consuming me.

i was stood right in front of my father willing him to look up, he did and i saw no sign that he recognized me. He even gave me a friendly smile, like the ones you give to strangers. I should have known that he wouldn't have given me a seconds thought since the day he left. He made it quite clear that my mother and I were just a burden.

"do you know who i am" i snapped.

i could see in his face that he didnt, he looked confused. I wasnt sure what i was going to do i could just feel rage building in me.

"your the girl who bought the Andalusian, he looks a fine horse. You bought well" he said kindly. The fact that he was speaking to me in such a respectful manner was almost too much to take.

"im also your fucking daughter, or had you forgoten you had one like you forgot my mum" i snapped. johnny had his arms around m, he was trying to comfort me and pull me away.

To say he looked shocked was an understatement, his jaw was almost on the floor. He looked me over and shook his head.

"Emily" he whispered, he was now as pale as a ghost.

"So you do remember me"

"you look so well" he said quietly. He looked lost for words.

I laughed harshly "with no thanks to you"

" Emily i was in a bad place, im sorry i thought it would be for the best that I left" he was whispering, I didn't believe that he really regretted it. I wasn't that naive, not anymore.

A few of the others were starting to gather around and listen to me yell . i didn't care who heard, this man deserved for everyone to know what a spineless slug he was. He didn't deserve a second chance.

"yeah a 15 year old in the middle of queens on her own with only pennies to her name. I lived in a roach motel and had to take 2 jobs to get by. There were days where i couldn't eat, you didn't try to contact me once. You were too busy getting high. i hope you rot in hell" i spat and with that i turned to leave. 10 years of anger and hate was now released. it wasn't locked up inside me anymore, i had said my piece and had my closure. I would never see that dreadful man again, the next time i would be near him was when i spat on his grave.

johnny had to help me to the car, i was so weak and hurt i just wanted to crawl into bed and forget what had happened. We should have been on top of the world we had just bought a beautiful new horse who would be joining our family.

"is barry in the trailor" i asked dawn.

"he is, hes so gorgeous. even more beautiful up close" dawn replied happily. I was glad to see that she was still happy with our purchase.

"great, i cant wait to stoke him, can i feed him an apple when we get back or does that only happen in film" i joked trying to shift my bad mood.

"sure you can, horses love apples. if your wanting to bond with him then feding him is definatly the right way to do it" dawn joked, she looked a little uncomfortable and I couldn't blame her, what happened with my dad had been awkward.

i looked over at johnny who was sat silently, he hadnt said anything since i approached my dead beat dad. I knew it was wrong making a scene but I didn't think Johnny would be embarrassed.

"you ok" i asked.

he just shook his head, johnny was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Whats wrong, you ned to tell me" i pushed.

"your dad is my dad too" he said quietly as he looked at his shoes.

with that i nearly fainted.