Too much too young

44

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I silently prayed that everything would go well. I was nervous, nerves had consumed me. I could hardly see straight, my stomach wouldn't settle I thought butterfly's would burst out like a scene of alien. I looked down at the floor, hoping I could focus on something other than what was going on.

Today should be the happiest day of my life but it's painful non the less. I knew it would be, this wasn't a fairytale where everything was perfect.

"Breath, you have practiced your breathing for months. Now is what it matters" kitty said as she held my hand.

I owe my grandmother so much, she has kept me calm and grounded ever since my eaters broke. I've panicked about everything, anything that can go wrong in my head will. I want to enjoy the experience but I doubt I'll be able to. I'm too hot and anxious to enjoy anything right now, I just want to get it over and done with.

"Is Donnie out there, I want him"

"You both agreed he would wait out there are you sure I should get him" kitty replied as she handed me a drink.

I shook my head, she was right . We had discussed this for months and had agreed this is what we wanted.

"It's time"

"Already, are you sure. I don't think I can do this" I was starting to hyperventilate. I wasn't ready , was anyone ever really ready.

"Come on darling you can do it, remember your mothers here with you in spirit. We all love you darling" she soothed.

I looked down at my feet and nodded.

"You sure you want me here" buck asks as he pops his head through the door.

"Yes I want you and pops here" I replied quickly.

"Thank you for giving me away, you both mean so much to me" I say kissing both their cheeks.

"I'm going to sit down, good luck my darling. You look amazing" kitty said before she left through the door. I watched as she walked across the decking and down on the beach. I couldn't see Donnie or any of the guests I could only see the start of the aisle.

"Mommy can't hold you darling, Aunt Elle can carry you" I turn as see my aunt Elle looking gorgeous in her thin gold dress. All my bridesmaid are in matching gold dresses apart from my daughter Aubry who's in a ivory dress similar to mine.

"She wants you to hold her" Elle said with a shrug.

"She wants her toy, iv attached it to get flowers" I say handing her the bouquet that sat on the side. I took a breath in as the wonderful smell came from the wild flowers.

Aubry immediately settled as she put the end of her rattle in her mouth. At only 6 months old she was a handful but I would not have her any other way. I had a feeling I wouldn't need to exercise when she starts crawling I'm sure she will keep me on my feet. Donnie had been a great father just like I had known he would be.

"Lets do this" I link my arms with Donnie an mines grandfathers. They were both dressed in matching cream suits with gold ties. They look dashing, I'm so proud to call these people my family.

The wedding match started and my heart stopped, I look down at my nude and ivory lace mermaid gown and take a deep breath.

The sun shone above us making the sand glisten around us, the private beach looked beautiful. The aisle was made of rose petals, white dimple chairs sat as either side.

I didn't notice the guests who were smiling at me as we passed I only looked ahead. An arch made from driftwood and wild flowers stood just a few strides away.

He hadn't turned yet, I knew I would cry as soon as I saw his face. My little boy Jasper was sat on his grandfathers hip, he was putting his arms out to me. I smiled and blew him a kiss, I wanted so much to hold him and his twin sister.

Donnies back was stiff, I was silently begging for him to turn and look at me. I needed to see the man I loved. He heard my silent prayer and turned giving me his million dollar smile. He took my breath away, I would never tire of looking at him.

I found myself choking on my tears when I noticed Donnie was full on crying , there wasn't just tears in his eyes there were full it streams coming from them. You see this moment on every romance Film and you always hope that your husband will cry when you walk down the aisle.

My heart was so full, I had everything I could ever want, ever need.

I beam as we exchange our voes, his words are funny and heartfelt.

"I love you Emily, I have loved you ever since I met you. I promise you this will be our last wedding, unless you want to marry me again that is"

The guests laugh, this is our 4th wedding after all.

"I promise to love you for the rest of eternity, I will spend every day making up for the days we were apart. I will never be stupid again, your my world. You've given me everything, 3 beautiful children and unconditional love"

I meant every word I said in return but even Shakespeare wouldn't be able to write words that would describe how much I love Donnie. He cried again as he exchanged rings.

"Can I kiss her yet, your killing me" Donnie complained gaining a laugh from our guests.

"You may kiss the bride" the vicar finally said.

Our lips mouldered together, everything was blurred. There was nothing but me, him and our love.