Too much too young

14

I woke up to the sound of my candy spilling on the floor, for a minute I forgot where I was. My head was pounding, I could see the empty wine bottles surrounding me. The wine explained why my head hurt , I felt like I had been in the boxing ring. I checked my phone hoping to see a message from Johnny, I was disappointed when there was only 1 message and it was from the person I least wanted to hear from.

D: I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have stayed away, I wish things were different. Why don't you give me a chance, I can make you happy again. Let me try

I shook my head, I should have not gone to dinner with him I knew that now. I tried to do the best thing, but all i did was make things worse for myself. I had no intentions of ever speaking to Donnie again, I couldn't bare to even think about it. I wasn't going to reply to this text or any future ones, he needed to be out of my life for good if things were going to work between me and Johnny.

I needed to speak to Johnny but I couldn't bare the the thought of him ignoring my call. I decided to send him a text.

E: I'm sorry , you were right I was wrong for seeing him. But I swear it was buck who I had been to lunch with, he was like my grandfather I loved and miss him. Donnie and I are not and will not ever be together again. I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise I will never see him again, if I see him even in passing I will turn and walk the other way. Please call me I miss you Zeus

I stared at my cell and phone willing it to ring, I wanted him to know that he was the only one for me. He had to know how much I loved him, he must know that he was everything to me. I still couldn't believe that Johnny could believe that I would ever cheat on him and with Johnny none the less. He had witnessed how hurt I was when Donnie had announced his love for me back in LA.

My phone started ringing, I answered without even checking who was calling.

"Hello Johnny "

"Hi Emily its will, have you seen" will never called me I was immediately worried. I wanted what had made him sound so worried.

"Seen what. What's happening" I asked.

"Em, you need to look online."
Will stopped as though he was scared to say, nothing could be any worse than what had been reported previously.

"Let me guess. Me and Donnie are having a secret affair" I laughed, I was hardly surprised by the rubbish the press spread.

There was a long pause. Will was driving me crazy.

"Em I don't know how to say this" Will stuttered.

Something about his tone had me worried, will was never one for drama. He hated the whole long pause for dramatic effect so I didn't like that he was doing it now.

"For fucks sake will, what do I need to see online" I snapped.

"Tmz, its Johnny. I'm so sorry Emily" he whispered.

I put my cell on loudspeaker and loaded the website like I had been instructed. I knew it wasn't going to make me happy but I never thought it would destroy me.

"Em, are you ok. I'm so sorry" Will said as I dropped the phone, the glass shattered on the hard wood floor.

I screamed like I was on fire, I must have sounded like a feral cat. the world was shattering by my feet. I needed to see it for myself , I couldn't believe what I had read. The photos looked real enough but I couldn't trust them. I needed to see Johnny.

I arranged for our stable hand to look after roxy and let the designer in the house when needed. I had been on auto pilot for the 2 days since the story broke.

I called no one, I couldn't due to my broken cell but I doubt I would have called anyone either way. I couldn't speak , if I spoke I cried. I needed to get to Texas. I needed to get to Johnny. I was too weak to face the press so the airports were out of the question. I had decided to drive, it was 17 hours away. That didn't include the stops I would need to make for food and sleep. Dawn called a car service and arranged for me to pay an extortionate amount for them to drive me there. I didn't care how much it cost, I needed to get to my love. There would be 4 different drivers along the way as I didn't want to waste time at a hotel I just wanted to get to him.

I rested on the back seat of the town car and just fiddled with the diamond Johnny had given me. I had no phone so I had no idea what time it was when we switched drivers. The new driver whose name I never got offered to stop somewhere so I could eat but I refused. I had my candy and wine to sustain me, I only left the car when I needed to pee.

If only my mom could see me now.

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I must have finally dropped to sleep because I was woken by an unfamiliar man waking me gently.

"Miss Kline were in Texas. Were just outside" he said kindly. I could tell by the pity in his voice that he had read the news about my love. The press had gotten things wrong before, I was sure they were wrong this time. They had to be.

I snook a look in my pocket mirror and cleaned the smudged make up from my face. I tied my hair in a messy bun and placed my feet in my vans.

As I walked towards to large white building I felt a shiver running through my body. I was about to see him, I was about to see something I had wished would never be. I saw the sympathetic looks people gave me as I neared my destination.

After getting directions I head down the cold lonely hallway, my feet are slow as I work up the courage to go inside the room.

I pulled the handle and what I saw broke my heart all over again.