Too much too young

33

"Stop smiling" I complained.

Donnie applied a fake scowl to his face but it didn't last, before long he was grinning again.

I wasn't amused and I let him know by glaring at him. He just laughed, I hadn't seen him look so happy since our first wedding.  I wasn't as happy as bad as that sounds I wasn't.

Cameras flashes as we walked towards the hospital, Donnies arm was linked with mine so he pulled me along. I had been like a deer in headlights I had gone into shock, I just froze.

The paps were coming at us from every angle, I was terrified. I was shaking with fear , if Donnie wasn't with me I would have fainted I know it. I was suffering with shock and anxiety since I had escaped my father.

"Why are you at the hospital, are you ok" someone called as he pushed his camera in my face.

"Emily needs her bandaging changing, there's nothing to worry about she's healing well. I'm looking after her" Donnie said as he held me.

My knees were so weak, I was happy that we only had two more steps till we were inside. I couldn't deal with the press, they made me feel unsafe. I wasn't sure that I would ever feel comfortable around them again. Just the thought of being surrounded my them made me hyperventilate.

It had taken all my courage to leave the house, if it weren't for my important appointment I would still be in the gym punching the bag.

"Do we have to go" I poured.

"Yes , I want to see that your ok. Don't you want to see"

"I don't really care" I did care at least I think I did. I was still in shock, it was hard to know what I felt. I wasn't sure I felt anything anymore, I was numb.

The hospital was as I remembered it, or was cold and sterile, I hated being there. We walked through the corridors towards my doctors office. I wasn't sure what she would say, maybe speaking to her directly would make it feel more real.

I only knew what had been said when I came too and what Donnie had told me. Because of the extent of my injuries I had been referred to a specialist, I would be needing regular visits to the hospital which I wasn't happy about. 

I was walking slow, so slow that I was barely moving. I think part of me thought that if I took my time I may miss my appointment and it may just all go away. I wanted nothing more than for it all to go away and just have been a bad dream.

"Come on kid, move your feet. It's going to be ok" he sounded so positive that I almost believed him.

"Mm" I mumbled. I wasn't convinced.

We sat in the waiting room on burgundy chairs, I flicked through a magazine hoping it would make me appear calm like everyone else.

I didn't realise that I was turning the pages so quickly that I was almost ripping them. Donnie put his hand over mine, cocooning my trembling hands with his own.

"Emily, its great to see you looking so well. Please come in my office, I'm ready for you"  my doctor was an elderly woman called dr Goodman. I liked my doctor I just didn't like coming to see her.

Donnie and I followed dr goodman into her office and laid on the bed like she had instructed.

"How are you feeling, I hope the pains not too much" dr Goodman said with a smile.

"No the pills are controlling it at the minute"  I replied honestly.

"Any nausea"

"She's had a bit of sickness, usually just after she takes her pills" Donnie answered for me.

"I can answer" I complained.

Dr goodman and Donnie just laughed.

"So lets get on with it shall we, I can see your partner is anxious"  my doctor took out her equipment and prepared me for my check up.

Donnie watched the doctor amazed, he didn't take his eyes off her hands. I couldn't have cared less, i just wanted it to be over and done with.

"Everything looks to be in order, your heartbeats strong. Your blood pressure is where I would expect it to be"

"Good can I go now" I asked, I had already started scrambling off the bed.

"Not yet Emily, we have other things to check. You don't seem as happy about this as your partner does"

"I guess I'm still in shock" that was the understatement of the year.

"The foetus has a strong heartbeat, I can't see any damage to the amniotic sac. Would you like to hear the heartbeat"

I looked at the monitor and just saw something that more resembled a bean than it did a baby.

"Yes we do" Donnie replied before I could think about it.

Within seconds a strange pounding sound filled the room, it was like nothing I had ever heard. It was quick, quicker than I thought it would be. Up until that moment I had not accepted that I was having a baby, it had been an unwanted trespasser in my stomach. Hearing the baby's heartbeat was like a wake up call, it finally sunk in . I was going to be a mom.

"How far along are we" Donnie asked, he had unshed tears in his eyes. He was squeezing my hand so hard I thought it would bust.

"By the size of the foetus I would say 8 weeks, maybe nine"

The doctor went silent and out her hand to her lips indicating for us to be quiet. Dr goodman looked at the screen and squinted, she ran the machine over my stomach again and looked like she was concentrating.

"Is my baby ok? Please tell me it's ok" I squeezed Donnies hand and looked at him for assurance. Only 5 minutes ago being pregnant had been the worst news I had ever had now all I wanted was my baby to be safe.

"Well Emily I have some news"