Too much too young

43

I was stunned by my aunts arrival, I was frozen to the spot.

Donnie was doubled over in laughter at kitty's behaviour. I watched as Elenor took some notes from her Chanel purse and begrudgingly put them in her mother hand.

Kitty was grinning like a Cheshire Cat as she put the notes down his underwear. It was like a scene out of a girls gone wild video.

Elenor looked around the women and visibly pales as she sees me. There's a sense of familiarity in her eyes, I wander if I look like the photos she has seen. This was the first time I had met her, it meant so much that she would come to my baby shower.

"Is that your mums sister" Donnie asked when he finally stopped laughing.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't even open my mouth. I had seen photos of Elenor and had seen a resemblance to my mom but now I was seeing her in the flesh it was like my mom was in the room. It was overwhelming, I could look at her all day. When I look in the mirror I don't see my mother anymore, I looked like her when I was younger but not now.

I had been ok all day but now with the image of my mother in my head I couldn't keep my tears at bay. It hit me like a train, my kids wouldn't have any grandmothers. Mine and Donnies moms are both gone and will never meet their grandchildren, it broke my heart. Both such different women from different worlds but they had so much in common.

They both loved their children, both we're stubborn and both died of cancer. Fucking cancer. Too many people die of it every year, I need to get these depressing thoughts out of my head.

"We need to raise money for cancer research" I said turning to Donnie.

"Erm yeah ok" Donnie replied, a little concerned that I had just blurted it aloud.

"Of course we can help raise money, we will look at charities and we can call and offer our help" I smiled as Donnie pulled me close.

"Emily" I stilled as I heard an unfamiliar voice.

I knew who would be at my side when I turned but it still didn't prepare me to see her. I felt my heart stop as I looked at her.

"Elenor, it's nice to meet you" Donnie said offering his hand.

"Elle please, I'm sorry that I'm late. It looks like I missed all the fun" she joked looking back at kitty who was fanning herself, still affected by the half naked men.

I smiled and felt the tension disperse a little. "Yeah kitty will be hiring them for her next DAR meeting, she loved it"

Elle laughed "oh I could just imagine their faces"

Donnie stood and kissed my cheek "I'm going to go mingle"

He was leaving so me and Elle could speak in private , I was grateful. There was so much I wanted to say.

"You look like my mom"

Elle out her hand to her face "really, do you have a photo"

I nodded, I carried a photo of my mom in my wallet. I had done since since she died. It was one of the only photos I had where she looked happy. It was taken the night she died.

I found the photo from my bag and held it close to my chest for a second before handing it to Elle.

Elle tucked a strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear before she took the picture. A small gasp left her plump lips before she put her hand over them muffling a sob.

"She looks so different, I was only a kid when I last saw her. I loved my sister. Debbie was my hero, I always wanted to be like her."

"I don't know what her life was like when you knew her but the woman I knew didn't have a life anyone would envy" I bit my lip to suppress the need to cry.

"When we were kids she was so free and did what she wanted. Her confidence was amazing. I know mother said that all changed when she left with your father. Was life really that awful for her and for you"

"Yes, I won't bore you with all the details but yes it was bad. Life was awful, we had no money but that wasn't everything. Life had always been bad but when mom got cancer we didn't have the money to do anything , medical bills crippled us. Mom took out credit cards that we would never be able to pay. The last month of her life we bad to ignore the door as creditors were always coming to collect what we didn't have to give them" life was bad. I know now I have a good life but the first chapter of my life had been like a horror. I would never forget the heartache and the pain I felt. It would stay with me my whole life.

"I'm sorry you had it so bad, I wish she would have reached out" Elle said as she dabbed her eyes.

Elle and I swapped stories of my mother until Coleen announced that it was time to open gifts.

Donnie helped me from the chair and led me to the table where the gifts were stored. I couldn't believe how fortunate we were to have so many people who care for us and our children. It was amazing how many people you can love and how many love you.

"Ooh this is from Tammy, it's a ..." Coleen stopped removing the paper and bit her lip. Coleen turned at looked at a smiling Tammy who just shrugged.

"What is it" kitty asked.

"A strip pole" Coleen whispered.

"For the babies" I asked confused, I found myself laughing. It was so Tammy to give something so inappropriate.

Tammy shook her head and looked at me seriously "no it's for you so you can tone up once the babies are born. "

"So it's for me really, watching her dance will be my new hobby" Donnie joked.

We thanked Tammy for her unusual gift and watched as Tammy continued to look through the gifts.

"Is there a mop in there" I asked as I stood.

Coleen laughed, "no there's everything here apart from a mop and the kitchen sink"

"That's a shame, my waters just broke"