So I have anxiety and I deal with it in 1 to 3 ways. The first obviously being to cry. My anxiety makes me cry because more often then not I am stressed. Two is to count and practice this breathing technique I learned. And third is to talk about what is giving me anxiety with a close friend or my sister.
Well right now, today, nothing has worked. I had an attack, I breathed, and I talked about as best that I could. I just don't know anymore. In the past I've struggled with dark thoughts.
*TRIGGER WARNING PAST HERE*
Over the past few months they have been coming back and today, today has been too much. Not to mention its midterms week.
I'm going to be honest. I want to die. Its that simple. But im fighting it and have been fighting it. Today's been hard. When I look at the keyboard all that I see are the keys that spell DEATH. I just don't know anything anymore. I want so desperately to go crawl into my Aunt's arms and ask if I can sleep with her tonight, but will she mock me? Everything changed today. I can feel it and I'm scared, so fucking scared. I kept thinking about everything I wanted to write in here, but truely the circumstances don't matter.
Do you think its a sign that when I was sobbing I looked up and said I wanted to die out loud and then my nose started bleeding? Maybe its happening, maybe its a coincidence. I thought that was weird so I should share it.
Until next time.
YOU ARE READING
After Senior Year.
SachbücherJune 30th, 2014. My life has always been a mess. From bullies constantly pushing me to the ground to my family pulling me in so many directions I begin to fall apart. This isn't just about all the terrible things I've dealt with, but also the amazin...
