After Senior Year.

Wednesday: January 27th, 2016

I haven't written in here for a few months. I guess life has just been going. My 20th birthday passed, so did Christmas and New Years. Everything had been going pretty fine. I went to the doctor about a month ago and they told me my blood work came back abnormal. I had to get an ultrasound and a bone marrow biopsy. Nevertheless I don't find out if anything is wrong until the 5th of February.

Besides that, school has started and it's been alright. I was so proud of myself because I had to face my anxiety and make a call to fix something with my class. This is something I would usually have an attack over. I had originally asked my sister to do it, but she left so I took charge and did it myself. Today I remembered there was one last school related phone call that I had to make, so I asked her if she could do it. She said yeah, but only after we watched Teen Wolf. So about 30 minutes after we finished the show I asked her if she was going to do it. She got all moody and was like "I guess". I told her I did the other call yesterday and I was proud to tell her. But all she said was "wow one call". It hurt. I just turned around and walked to me room trying to turn off all the lights and grab my earphones so I could crawl in bed and cry. But I wasn't fast enough. I could hear her and my mom talking about me in the kitchen. Saying stuff like what am I gonna do without her. She even brought her boyfriend into it, saying even he wonders what I'm gonna do when they move in together. I wish she would have defended me to him. She knows I have social anxiety. So does my mom, but they still don't get. I have improved soo fucking much and they just don't see it. I'm proud of how far I've come, but it's times like these that still make me feel like I used to when I was in high school. I am trying so hard, and they don't see that.
I started writing this about 5 minutes after I crawled into bed. I'm just going to listen to music for a bit more before I start my homework. As of now I'm done trying to be the person they think I should be. I just want to be me.
Until next time.