After Senior Year.

Saturday: June 11, 2016

Today has been a hard day. Last night I found out a singer that I have idolized for quite a few years had been shot. I was out with my friends grabbing food when I found out that Christina Grimmie was shot while signing autographs. My first thought was that it had to be a joke. My second was to check and see if any of "my boys" in Before You Exit were hurt. I found out that she was in critical condition, so I sent out a little prayer for her while still with my friends. After my group of friends and I got our food, we went back to Gabby's house to hang out and drink. It was a very calm and good time. I did not drink a lot, which was alright because now I can save the alcohol for another time. However, everyone got tired and we decided to each head out. When I was walking to the car Gabs let me know that Christina did not make it. I felt utter confusion. I suppose denial because I could not believe that she had died. I did not want to believe it. I drove home and went straight to my room. I sat in front of my mirror and started sobbing. So many thoughts were going through my head and so many emotions were clouding my mind. I was heartbroken, sad, and mostly angry. Why? I could and still cannot fathom why this happened. I snap chatted my closest friends how much I loved them. You never know when you may never get to speak to the ones you love again. I went to sleep crying. I woke up today and felt empty. I decided to message two of my closest friends and see if they wanted to hang out. However, Gabs had gotten hardly any sleep over the past 2 days so she decided to catch up on sleep. Rachel came over to watch a movie and it was filling to have company.

Right now I feel stressed. I have a bunch of issues and things I have to do concerning ASU and I am having trouble trying to get my first job. I have no experience and no references, but I have faith it will work itself out. I finished reading The Scorch Trials and loved it, but it was nothing like the movie. I loved the movie as well. I want to get back to reading the way I used to. Day and night and finishing books in 1 to 3 days. I want to get back to writing, but then again I say that a lot. I love writing and I hate to admit it, but as I have gotten older it does not seem to come to easily. When i first noticed this I thought it was because I was not as good at writing anymore, but I realized that it was because I grew up. Its harder for me to write teen fiction now that I am no longer a teen. When it comes to young adult fiction, well, I still struggle because everything I write no longer seems realistic. Whatever the case, I am going to dedicate time everyday to work on my books. I guarantee at least sometime every week I will dedicate to write a least a chapter. Let's hope I am right! Until next time.