After Senior Year.

Sunday: August 9th, 2015

I have lost 5 pounds! This eating healthy lifestyle seems to be working for me. I just need to stick to it and on the bright side it actually isn't that bad. I'm struggling with the working out part, but I know if I don't want to have loose skin that I have to strength train. I am so happy that I decided to try this lifestyle again and on my own. Last time I did it with my sister and she was really good at it, so when she stopped I stopped. This time I'll be responsible for myself and only have myself to blame.

In other news G went out last night and I was really hoping that I would get out of the house. I texted all my friends, but everyone was busy and it made me really upset for no reason. I just wanted to hang out so very badly and then when I woke up this morning I saw that the whole group hung out and we're drinking. Everyone was kissing Gabby and it look like so much fun. its these kind of things that make me feel as though I'm not worth anything to anyone. The hardest thing is knowing that it's just my mind coming to the worst conclusion. I doubt any of my friends deliberately leave me out of things, but that doesn't change the fact that my very own mind is so pessimistic. If they are leaving me out I'd wish they would tell me. Deep down I know that's not the case. Rachel probs knew that I had to be up early and decided to let me sleep. She probably didn't think I would even go if I was invited. What the hell was I expecting? For her to read my mind?

My mom and I are home now. G is actually here shockingly enough. She made the whole house smell like a bar. I walked into the kitchen and was like "god damn! Did she bathe in beer?" Nevertheless, I told her to go shower and I'm getting ready to go hang out with Gabby. She invited me over to Rachel's. I hope I have a good night because tomorrow I have to take Joel's mom to the doctor. I hope that goes well too. I almost forgot to mention that a 'Wattpadder' wants to feature me in there interview book. I'm stoked to say the least! Well I better hurry up and eat so I can get out of here. G is hungover and I refuse to deal with this shit! Until next time:)