After Senior Year.

Tuesday: July 10th, 2018

Okay here it is, the Scottsdale post.

So first of I should have known the trip was going to be shit the minute my windshield cracked and I had to drive my sisters car. I hate driving and driving all the way to Scottsdale in the city was terrifying. But I did it. I did it for Jordan because he didn't have a car and I wanted the trip to bring us closer together. We really never talked and sometimes he would go days without messaging and I should have known then that the relationship was fucked. So here we are in Scottsdale stopping around to eat and look around even though I specifically asked if we could go straight to the hotel and then Lyft around since I'm not comfortable driving. Nevertheless, we went to Scottsdale Fashion square where one I can't afford a single thin and two all the clothes stores wouldn't even have anything that actually fit me. But I didn't mind that much, it was mostly to waste time. Before the trip I made it pretty clear that once we got to the hotel we were staying in the room because the whole point was to get to know each other and have sex. Also was so I good get really drunk because I hadn't gotten to do that in a while. He said he was down, so we got to the room, had sex, I faked an orgasm, and then took a nap. Sometimes you just gotta fake it in my opinion. Anyway I wake up and he makes me drinks and I get drunk. Then he talks about going out and I'm like no way. I'm already drunk, so we have sex again and I tell him that I'm hungry and he decides to order pizza. After pizza he takes me to the bathroom and we have sex in the shower which I am not feeling at all and with out asking he tries to fuck me in the ass. This was a huge turn off because I had made it clear multiple times I was not interested. He obviously tried it though because I was drunk. Anyway we get outta the shower and we lie down and go to sleep. Jordan was never a cuddly person, he never told me goodnight and he never really kissed me. These are all things I didn't think bothered me or rather I told myself they didn't because I wanted a boyfriend so bad. I didn't want to be lonely. So when he ghosted me after the trip I realized it was for the best. I am too boring for him and I am just to boring in general for most people. I decided I would just see a bunch of people make friends and sleep around.

This sleeping around included with Jordan since we decided to be fuck buddies. Which was cool I guess until his friends started to hit me up too. Then it became a let's have threesomes type of thing and I wasn't into it. So that's what happened in Scottsdale and it feels good to finally say it because I have yet to tell anyone in detail.

Until next time.