Friday: July 6th, 2018

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I'm going to move to Minnesota. I'm not sure when, but if everything works out I'm not trying to wait longer than a year. I'm hoping to move there around May-July of next year. I'm terrified. I thought I was terrified of flying to see Nate, but I'm mostly excited. The excitement is overpowering everything, I just hope it stays that way when I'm actually at the airport. So Nate's mom is paying for my ticket and I feel bad that's she's doing it but I wanna see him so bad.

So I'm finishing this post on Sunday. I just started smoking and I just have so much to say. I've never been in love before all of this. It feels honestly unexplainable. I worry about a lot. I'm insecure about a lot of things. And I'm terrified of getting my heart broken. I worry about being boring and Nate losing interest in me because I'm not exciting and whatever. I have issues and one of them is overthinking everything. There is one thing I know. My life is better with Nate in it. I just wish I could physically have him in my life. Soon. I just hope that when we finally get to see each other again he doesn't realize that I'm not right for him. He's so perfect and precious. I'm not good enough for him. Love is..... hard. It will work out, it has to. I just want to be happy with Nathan forever.
Until next time.

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