Weeping Angel: Malvada (Book 1 of the Weeping Angel Series)

Chapter XXXVII

Gabby places her hand on my shoulder. "Chica?" She didn't know what to say or do, but she tried to comfort me, and I appreciated her effort.

I was happy for standing up for myself, even if it meant wishing on something that would cause more damage. I was angry at my mother for using every opportunity to lash out at me, to bring me down, to blame me for everything wrong in our lives. I was confused whether she hates me or behind her cold exterior is immense love for the daughter she's resented for seventeen years.

"Are you okay?" Gabby gently presses. I nod, my body shaking in the cold, late-night breeze, causing the hair on my bare arms to rise.

Gabby wraps her arms around me, and I lean into her touch, my heart warming with love and gratitude for having such a good friend by my side.

After a moment, I say, "I'm sorry you had to witness that. It's a routine."

"I heard what she told you about wanting you to get out. Why would she say that?"

"That's how she is. I don't even understand her anymore. Does she really hate me or care about me? She wouldn't act so worried if there's nothing inside her besides hatred." My heart ached, my mind perplexed with confusing thoughts.

I never liked talking about my mom and how she really feels towards me in front of others, because it hurt too much; it reminds me of my mom's hatred towards me and how unwanted and unworthy I am to her. My heart shatters every time I think about it. It's too personal, and I never wanted anyone to find out in the first place because I didn't want anyone to judge or make fun of me then side with my mom only to form an 'I Hate Emma' group.

"Chica, she's your mom. I heard the fear in her voice when she brought up Malvada's intention to hurt you. I saw it in her eyes too," Gabby tells me.

I scoff and stare at the ground, wishing it would open up to swallow me in. "She might just be faking for all I know."

Gabby removes her arms from me and sighs, "Emma-"

A deep, honey-laced voice interrupts Gabby mid-sentence, "There you are, Rose."

I tense up, immediately recognizing it's Josh. He must've followed us out.

I told him we needed to talk, maybe that's why he's here. I didn't think we'd be talking now, not that I want to, but we have to talk it out. I can't take awkwardness between us, especially when his blue eyes stare into the depths of my soul.

Gabby and I turned around to see Josh standing a few feet away from us, and behind him were Mason and Ethan.

I groan internally; did everyone think this was the right time to talk to me?

"Rose, I-"

Mason steps closer. "Emma, I'm so sorry-"

Gabby takes a threatening step towards Mason, muttering, "Let them talk while I deal with you."Mason rolls his eyes, Gabby's threat not affecting him in any way, but he lets her take him a few steps back so she can talk some sense into him. Thanks, girl.

Now, it's just Josh and me as we gazed into each other's eyes with an intensity and emotion, letting the unspoken words pass between us.

I break eye contact and hesitate for a second before taking a big step closer to him, feeling my heartbeat accelerate. Josh must've read my mind because he closes the distance between us but doesn't reach out to touch me, and suddenly I'm freezing.

I wrap my arms around my torso, shivering under the bright moon that was shining on his handsome face, illuminating his sharp features I never failed to notice.

Josh takes his jacket off of him and wraps it around me, his warm hands lingering on my arms. "Christ. You're shivering like crazy."

Suddenly, we're more physically closer than ever. I can see the soft blue hues fading away in the black of his eyes as I stare at him with wonder, tuning out the distinct chattering and car horns around me. Josh brings his hand up to my face, his thumb stroking my cheek softly, and I sigh in pleasure, all my anger gone in an instant.

"I'm sorry," He breathes, his voice guilty. "That fight, everything I said, it shouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you stop?"

Josh sighs. "Mason, he just- I- I couldn't stop myself. I didn't think about you or where we were, and I'm sorry for letting you down, Rose."

"It's okay, Josh," I say, letting him see the honesty behind my words in my green eyes. I forgave Josh already but hearing him admit it and apologize melted my heart for the umpteenth time.

He tucks a lock of my copper hair behind my ear, his eyes swirling with relief. "So, we're okay?"

I bite my lip, not knowing the answer to that. "We would be if you'd trust me."

Josh frowns, already knowing what I meant but asks nonetheless, "What are you trying to say?"

"I want answers. About Penny and Mason and everything I deserve to know."

Josh drops his hand from my face, and my body lacks his warm touch.

"I can't-"

"You're the one who says we're in this together, Josh," I calmly interrupt, clutching his jacket around me. Josh opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

"You can trust me," I add softly.

I know it's hard for him to talk about something he'd rather bury deep inside him, but now, it wasn't just him and the rest of our friends involved. I was in this just as much as they are.

Josh pinches the bridge of his nose. "Rose, you have no fucking idea how hard this is. For me to open up to anyone, it's difficult."

"I'm anyone now?" I growl, feeling a little hurt.

Josh winces, realizing he chose the wrong words. "You know you're not just anyone to me." Something warm wraps around my heart, but I could feel a 'but' coming.

"But," He adds, running a frustrated hand through his dark brown hair. He curses under his breath and huffs. "Jesus, I just- it's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

Taken aback by his words, I hiss, "I'm trying my hardest to understand you here. If you don't tell me the truth, then Malvada will hurt other people, including me."

Josh shakes his head at this, the fear and panic rising in his usually hard eyes as he closes the distance between us once again, cupping my face. "You damn well know I'd do anything to keep you safe, Rose."

It takes an excruciating amount of effort to wiggle out of his grasp because I had to stand strong and not let my heart melt away at his words.

"You're not the only one who gets to protect people!" I say, my heart exploding with emotion. "Malvada could hurt you too."

"I don't care about me!" He growls, his blue eyes blazing with anger. "I've already fucked up before, Rose. I can't do the same with you-"

"So, you're going to wait until I'm in a pool of my own blood?"

Josh grimaces at my words, his scowl deepening. "You and I both fucking know I'd never let that happen."

Growing tired of our back and forth, I run a hand through my hair and look at him expectantly. Whatever he said next determined if I should stay here a second longer or walk away.

Josh sighs, the emotions in his intense blue eyes disappearing away as if they never existed. His high walls were back up, and he looked like the Josh I first met weeks ago - eyes darker than the night sky, face impassive and hard as stone.

I let out a shaky breath of air, getting the answer I was dreading the entire time and slowly walked past him, ignoring the sound of my heart shattering into a million pieces as a single tear escaped my eye, rolling down my face.