Weeping Angel: Malvada (Book 1 of the Weeping Angel Series)

Chapter XXXIII

I don't know how long I spent crying in front of my sister's room, but I didn't get up. I wasn't ready to face my friends after what I said to them.

What if they hate me? Did I say too much?

Too caught up in my thoughts, I didn't realize someone sat down beside me and placed their hand on my shoulder. I instantly knew it wasn't Josh, but I secretly wished he was here beside me.

I wipe the excess tears from my face and turn to see dad looking at me with a concerned expression. He looks tired, the dark bags under his eyes and the redness in them said it all.

"You okay? Why were you crying?"

I nod and send him a smile that didn't reach my eyes. "I'm fine, dad. Just needed to be alone for some time."

Dad nods in understanding and pulls me into a side hug, kissing the top of my head. "It'll get better, kiddo. For now, we need to head back to the waiting room."

I stiffen and pull away from him. I'm not ready to go back in there.

I'm saved from replying when mom walks over to us, looking physically and emotionally drained.

She runs an exhausted hand through her black hair and looks between us. "Sorry I took so long. The nurses needed me. Ready to go?"

Dad and I nod, and he wraps a comforting arm around her, making me narrow my eyes at them. Since when did they get all touchy?

Dad lets go of mom, and we start walking to the waiting room. Dad leans in and quietly asks me, "What happened between you two? Every time I brought you up in front of your mother, she changed the topic."

I sigh, feeling hesitant to tell him what actually happened just a while ago. If things started to get better between mom and dad after what happened to Clarice, I couldn't just ruin it and let dad get angry at mom for fighting with me. It's not even her fault; she's hurting too.

When I don't answer, dad presses me to tell him what happened. I bite my lip, cross my hands over my chest, and refuse to respond and make things worse between mom and dad.

Dad sighs in defeat. "Kiddo, I won't scold your mother if that's what you're thinking. You know I'm always here for you, princess."

I nod, feeling a sense of warmth and calmness wash over me at his words. I guess I could tell him if he wasn't going to confront mom.

I take a deep breath, my mind transporting back to the hallway where I broke down into tears, and I shiver at the sight of me whimpering, my heart squeezing with pain. "I went to look for you and ran into mom. She was crying and upset. She started yelling at me for no reason like always, but then I realized she had just found out Claire's in a coma, and then she started blaming me for what happened..."

My voice trails down, and I take a shaky breath, feeling the tears prick the corner of my eyes. A pit started forming in my stomach, the emptiness growing and eating me up on the inside. It hurt to even think of that moment.

Dad's eyes widen before they fill up with anger. "What the hell, Emma? How could she blame you?" He was trying to keep his voice hushed so mom couldn't hear, but I knew he wanted to raise his voice at mom and call her out for treating me the way she did.

"She just needed someone to blame, dad. It's not her fault. It's mine," I add quietly.

Dad shakes his head, looking at me with disbelief. "No, Emma! I know your mother is hurting, but that gives her no right to find opportunities to bring you down-"

"You weren't there, dad!" I whisper loud enough so he can hear me. "I know she hates me."

Dad sighs and wraps his arm around my shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb as we turn a corner, getting closer to the waiting room. "No, kiddo. She's your mother. She could never hate you even if she tried."

She didn't even have to try.

I stare at the ground as we walk, avoiding my dad's comforting black eyes. "I wasn't planned, dad. Mom never wanted me in the first place. Of course, she hates me for ruining your perfect relationship. I'm just a reminder of her mistakes and the breaking of your marriage."

A single tear escapes my eye, my crushed heart longing for the motherly love I know I'll never get.

I'm grateful for having parents and a sister, but my mom doesn't care about me, and I can't rely on my dad or sister to defend me because they had their own problems. I couldn't ruin my parents ' already broken relationship, and neither could I make my mom think her whole family is against her if I forced Clarice to stay by my side.

I needed to see Clarice and convince myself that it wasn't my fault, so I wouldn't feel like a sobbing mess, and the void growing in my stomach would disappear.

Would mom even let me see Clarice?

Before I can think about the answer to my question, we stroll inside the waiting room, and my parents greet my friends who were seated differently than before. I'm met with four pairs of eyes staring at me - two of them are looking at me with sympathy, one of them is looking at me with regret and anger, and the other one holds power to melt my angry heart in just a second with his gentle gaze.

Refusing to look at Josh for a second longer, I settle down beside Gabby on the opposite side of the room and across from Josh, watching his eyes flicker with hurt and disappointment before he shakes his head as if clearing his thoughts.

Ethan and Mason sit in the love seat beside the seat where Josh is sitting, and my parents settle down diagonally from them on the big sofa.

The whole time, I could feel Josh's blue eyes burn a hole through my head from how intensely he's looking at me, making it harder to ignore him.

I can't take it anymore. I need to know what he's thinking. I lift my head to glance at him, and my heart skips a beat.

His ocean blue eyes wash the shore with a series of emotions that tug at my heart - guilt, hurt, knowing, and something else I couldn't place.

Josh mouths, "Are you okay?"

I shrug at him, not knowing how to respond to that. I wasn't okay, but drowning in the calmness of blue waves under the night sky that were his eyes and focusing only on the person who made my heart pound heavily in my chest felt more than okay.

And that's when I remember that the boy who brought me comfort and protected me also hurt me, and I don't plan on forgetting about that anytime soon even though I forgave him the moment my eyes met his. I had to put on a cold facade and bury my strong emotions towards him even if it would hurt.

I hear the distinct chatter going around us, but I tune it out, my heart squeezing with longing and hurt at the sight of Josh wearing a painful expression as if he couldn't bear the thought of me staying mad at him.

He had the power to melt any cold heart, no matter how guarded and angry you were.

His face softens, and the butterflies in my stomach escape their cage when I see that he's letting his guard down in front of me. "I'm sorry," He mouths, and it takes everything in me to not go up to him and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug, my anger already dissipating away.

I need to talk to him. I want to, but not now; this isn't the right time.

"We need to talk," I mouth back, and he nods, the expression in his eyes light and heavy.

I look away and catch the end of my mom's sentence. "What we're about to tell you is kind of overwhelming, and maybe our safety will be at risk, but you all deserve to know."

With my heart thumping heavily against my chest, my ears wide open, I lean in, eager to know what their next words will be.