Therapy

52

Sadie

Immediately, I knew something was wrong. Before Demi could walk into the hospital room, I saw it on her face through the window. I could tell by how she carried herself to the door and how her eyebrows were knitted together.

I could tell because for the first time in a long time her face didn't glow when she saw me.

"Where's Amy?" She shut the door while holding my laptop to her chest in her free hand.

"She went to grab something to eat, why?" I ask, my mood darkening. My heart is on full Demi mode after that dream, so her not hugging or kissing me when she walked in hurt me more than it should.

"You better have the explanation of your damn life," Demi fumed, dropping the computer onto my lap. It's only now I notice her eyes are slightly pink and the skin around it is puffy. Why has she been crying?

I use the remaining strength the pain medicine left me with to open it up. On the screen is a suicide note I left three years ago. The sight made my stomach turn nauseous, so I pushed it away.

"What is that?" Demi fumed, slamming it shut so hard the sound made me jump, "Huh? What the hell is that?!"

"It's a suicide note." I truthfully said as Demi sat down beside my legs, physically shaking.

"Why?! Why, Sadie?!" Her cheeks turned a dark shade of red, looking painfully confused.

"Demi!" I snapped, holding onto her arm, "It was from years ago, okay? I didn't write that now."

"That doesn't even make sense! Who even are you-"

"Demetria," I try calming my voice in hopes to soothe her, "I wrote it forever ago! It's a big misunderstanding and-"

She huffed, "Explain that to me! Make sense of this! Tell me I'm not losing you, Sadie. Please," she whimpered, tearing my heart into two.

"Three years ago, I gave myself three years to be happy or I was going to kill myself. I was in a dark place and I couldn't get out of it, but you my love, you saved me. I didn't erase it because I completely and utterly forgot about it- I'm beyond happy, Demi. With you."

She buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. "Please don't be lying. I can't- you can't be lying to me right now."

"You can go back and look at the date I put it in. Demetria, you saved me. You pulled me out of the dark. You made and make me so happy every damn day. This is a complete misunderstanding-"

She rose her head up, tears streaming down her cheeks and dropping off her chin. "So you're t-telling me your leg, then finding this note is a coincidence?"

The meaning of her statement hit me like a ton of bricks, "You think I did this to myself?! Demi... never in a million years. You.. you know me better than that."

"I just can't lose you."

I sat up and held her face in my hands, brushing away the water with the back of my thumbs. "You are stuck with me forever."

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" She cried, "First your leg and now this- Sadie-"

"Sh," I whispered, pulling her into me as she cried onto my shoulder.

"I- I can't lose y-you," she repeated over and over. I know it's the exhaustion and the release of her emotions she kept bottled up for over 24 hours now, so I just stroke her hair.