Thoughts and Things

So very tired

One whole week.

That's how long I held it together.

One whole week.

Now everything's slipping

and it's only a matter of time before it all crashes down on me.

Promises are being broken,

pledges to do better are being destroyed,

and dreams are being trampled by reality.

 I shouldn't have pushed everything off,

but I'm surprised it lasted this long.

I'm a disappointment to myself,

but the worst feeling is that I've disappointed others.

I've let them down.

I made a promise, a commitment, 

and I can't even keep that.

I had a responsibility.

I let them down.

I can't keep a simple promise-

hell, I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to think about it.

Everything is just a long cycle of sleeping and being only half awake,

and I suppose it's the only reason I haven't lost it yet.

But any day now

I'll have my wake up call.

I hope it comes soon

but at the same time, I dread that day.