Thoughts and Things

Time Heals All Wounds

I had a dream,

a nightmare, I guess,

and we were hugging but every time we touched

instead of feeling tingly and excited,

I was hurting

and I couldn't stop flinching

and shying away from him.

He wasn't trying to hurt me

but I couldn't stop him,

I couldn't tell him to stop,

I missed him so badly

and I didn't want to hurt his feelings

by telling him to stop.

I hadn't realized how long it had been since his name was said aloud

until it happened and my breath caught in my throat.

I know what happened

and I know the facts,

but I still feel so heartbroken

just imagining him with someone else.

It's hurting,

it almost makes me angry,

and then it just makes me sad all over again,

because how could I be mad?

I have no reason to be,

I have no justification.

It's over, I know it,

he can do whatever he wants

with whoever he wants.

I have no claim to him.

Maybe I never did.

Some would say it's jealousy,

and maybe it is.

But I don't hate the girl,

I'm not jealous of her

(whoever she is).

It's just this

constant

ache

in my heart

for him.

Maybe it's selfish.

I tell myself it's for the best,

as long as he's happy, 

then it'll all be fine.

I wish I could just stop

thinking,

remembering,

dreaming.

They say time heals all wounds

but I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.

All I can do

is keep driving on

and hope that his memory will stop off somewhere along the way.