The night {Colifer fan fiction}

Chapter 35: Take care

"Hello Jennifer." she greeted me with a hint of embarrassment in her expression.

I couldn't believe what was actually happening. My shock was so big that I just stood there, completely immobile and rooted to the floor.

There were probably a million questions popping up in my head. Questions I couldn't ever ask her. Questions I had no right to ask her.

"Sorry I came unannounced." she added, breaking the awkward silence between us.

"Please, come in." I invited her with a swift move of my right hand.

I slightly moved to the side, allowing her to enter.

"Is Colin here?" she asked as soon as she stepped in.

Everything felt so wrong. Just a year ago, I would be the one knocking on that door, asking her if Colin was around. She would be the one spending her nights in that house with him. My guilt was intensifying by the second. I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

"Yeah, he's taking a shower." I replied after I closed the door behind her.

"Do you mind if I wait for him here?" she asked shyly.

Her being sickeningly nice to me was not helping my guilt issues. I didn't deserve her treating me so kindly. If there was one person on this planet that had the right to hate me, it was her. After all, I destroyed her life. But obviously she didn't hate me in the slightest.

"No, not at all." I answered and absentmindedly lowered my head.

She slowly walked to the kitchen, making sure I was following her. She then pulled a chair and sat down. I followed suit and sat across from her.

We spent a good two minutes just staring at the table's surface, neither of us daring to say a word. I was silently praying for Colin to get out of the bathroom and come to my rescue. The thoughts going through my mind combined with all the guilt where slowly eating me alive. Except, guilt didn't even begin to describe what I felt.

I had so many things I wanted to ask. I needed to know why she was here. Why now? I also desperately needed to know how she felt towards me. If she had forgiven me. I hoped she hadn't, because her forgiving me meant that she was the kindest person to walk that earth and I couldn't live with that. In a dark, twisted way I wished she hated me. I wished she was a total bitch to me and called me all kind of names. If that was the case, it would be easier for me to justify myself and my actions.

I decided every single one of those things were just selfish of me to ask, so I asked the most irrelevant thing that came to mind.

"Would you, uh, want some coffee or anything?" I offered.

As much as I wanted this to help distracting me from my train of thoughts, it did the opposite. It triggered all the thoughts of how our places used to be reversed.

It reminded me of the life I stole from her. It reminded me of how happy they both were a few years back. How her happiness was destroyed because of me. Sure, there were other reason that led them to terminate their marriage, but I had definitely contributed to it.

"No, I'm fine, thank you." she kindly denied my offer.

"So..." she took a deep breath, "...how are things here in Vancouver?" she asked in an attempt to start some small talk, but Colin's voice that was heard from the hallway interrupted her.