The night {Colifer fan fiction}

Chapter 5: The talk

Jen's POV

I brought a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie for him to change into and we sat on my couch.

"Hey, wanna go see what's on Netflix?" he said, doing that one-eyebrow-lifting thing that I'm sure can drive every girl out there crazy.

"Yeah, but, you know, without the 'chill' part" I replied and winked at him, nudging his arm a little.

We spent the night cuddling in my bed, watching random episodes of Glee and mostly eating leftovers.

We didn't want to rush things. We wouldn't mind waiting for things to find their way. After all, we had already slept together the previous night, regardless of the circumstances it happened on, so the excitement for waiting for that was gone, at least for the time being, so we just wanted to seize every single moment we got to spend together.

Falling asleep and waking up next to him was all I wanted for now.

The next few days passed quietly for both of us. Helen had left for Ireland again, so we were able to meet more frequently without her suspecting anything. Colin knew I still had my objections about him lying to her, but we both agreed that he would talk to her as soon as she came back to visit him again.

We would see each other at set almost every day and have dinner together sometimes after. All this without the rest of the crew suspecting a thing. He would text me 'good morning' as soon as he was awake and I would text him 'good night' when I was comfortable in my bed every night.

That was until Helen came back in town. That's where the hard part began. He clearly didn't want to break her heart, I understood that. He still cared for her, despite having feelings for another woman and practically cheating on her. I wouldn't have agreed to any of this if I wasn't sure for my feelings and Colin's as well. He had to let her go. For both of their sakes. It was certainly for the best.

Colin's POV

"Hey, how was your flight?" I asked Helen when she got to my apartment. I was filming when she arrived at the airport so I couldn't pick her up, but I took the rest of the day off so I could talk to her.

"It was fine. I've missed you." she replied while kicking off her heels.

I sat on the couch and invited her to come along and sit besides me and she did as I asked.

"Do you want me to cook anything? I bet you're hungry." I said while playing with her blonde hair.

"No, I'm good." she answered, resting her head on my chest. I was nervous just a few moments ago, but the warmth radiating from her body was calming me down. It was a familiar feeling. We stood like that for quite some time, until I decided to drop it.

"So, I wanted us to talk about some matters. You know, sort some things out." I said casually.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?" she asked changing her current position a bit, so she could look me in the eyes.

"You know that I care about you, right?" I asked.

What a stupid question that was. I already knew the answer. Of course she knew. She is my wife. I am supposed to care for her and love her till death do us apart. God, this was going to be so hard.

"Yeah, baby, I know." she said, clearly having zero clue where this was going.

"And I will always care for you, no matter what..." I gulped. "...but lately, I feel like, how do I put this? I feel like we are somehow drifting apart." I finally found the words to say.

The shock on her face broke my heart completely. She was on the verge of crying. She obviously didn't see that coming. She didn't say a thing, just looked into my eyes with that heartbroken look that I hoped I'd never see in my life. She loved me so freaking much. It broke me, but it was the right thing to do. I couldn't stand lying to her anymore.

"Hey, come here." I took her in for a hug to comfort her.
"I'm so sorry we came to this. It's hard for me too, but I want to be honest with you. Pretending I'm happy when I'm actually not isn't like me at all." I continued.

She still didn't say anything once again. I felt her tears on my chest through my now-damp t-shirt. I felt like I was going to start crying too, but that wouldn't be any good, so I held back the tears.

"Why?" she asked eventually between sobs.

"I don't really know. I just don't feel the same way anymore."

You know what they say. What you don't know can't hurt you. If I told her about Jennifer, she would definitely hate me, but that was the least of my concerns. She would be devastated.

"And that's supposed to help me sleep at night? That you just woke up one day and decided that you don't want me anymore? No, there's more to that. Tell me." she demanded, propping herself up and whipping a tear off her left cheek.

She was angry. Why wouldn't she be? We were supposed to spend our lives together. This didn't make any sense for her.

"Please, don't make this any harder than it already is." I pleaded.

"Leave." she commanded, standing and whipping both her eyes now.

"Leave and don't come back until you find a decent excuse. And by that I mean until you man up and decide to tell me the truth." she shouted.

I wanted to oppose but decided not to. I would try to talk to her once she was through with her anger and tell her the whole story. I knew this was the best I could do right now, so I grabbed my jacket and car-keys and went to find Jennifer.