Ameles potamos

Chapter 18: lights

I spent the next couple of days trying to sink in the idea of me being sick.

Over and over I keep telling myself that I am, but the fact that I'm convinced that I'm not makes it too damn hard to believe, I mean I never pretend that I'm talking to people who never existed, I never tried suicide. Whatever it is it can't be as bad as I witnessed in this hospital.

I visited Julianne less because I didn't want to talk but when I did and decided to visit her I would stare at her books and start silly conversations.

 I needed something to inspire me…

It was finally Christmas. I was a bit happy even though I knew I won't get any visitors or any presents. I was feeling so unfortunate by this event, but I decided to cheer up a little.

He sat down while I was eating

 "Hey Nick" I said as he offered me his food and I refused it, "Why? You didn't even eat yours" he pointed out.

 I decided that I shouldn't let him know I'm kind of embracing the fact that I'm sick because somehow, I still am sure I'm not…

 "I'm sad. Now leave me drown in my sorrows alone" I turned away dramatically

 "No. Today is Christmas, where the hell is your Christmas spirit?"

"Exactly, How the hell can I have a Christmas spirit when I can't even touch the snow or feel it" I remembered how the cold snow would come crashing against my skin and how it would make me feel.

Reminds me of the cold floor I lay on,

"You really want to touch the snow?"

"Yep" I said excitedly realizing he was planning something.

Before he could say whatever was on his mind the nurses came to give us our medicines we both had blue pills. "I refuse to take my medicine" I whispered at him

"Why the hell not?"

 "I'm not sick! Do I look like a maniac?"

"Niala we are all sick" he said, exhausted.

"Well I'm not" I argued and refused to swallow the pill. While he took his I watched as the blue pill vanished into his body wondering if I was ever a blue pill how would it feel being swallowed.

"Nickolas!" I urged

"Niala?" he said suspiciously  

"You had an idea....?"I trailed off

"Oh,That." he had a very sly smile on his perfect lips.

He remained silent for a few seconds then he talked again, "Meet me at 7:00 in front of the escape stairs" he smiled

"Explain further information"

"No, now shut up and stop being a whiney creature."

That was mean but I'm kind of used to him that way, that even his 'mean' gestures make me happy and delighted.

He was just about to leave when something popped in my mind, "Wait. Isn't today a celebration inside the hospital… for Christmas?" I asked

"Yes indeed, you're so smart, god bless you" he said flatly.

"So we won't attend it?"

"Can you just be there at 7:00" he almost flipped

"Okay, calm down" and then he walked away.

It figures that Nickolas kind of has a temper that he needs to work on… or maybe I'm a bit too stupid, I wouldn't doubt that.

. . . . .

I was waiting anxiously for the clock to strike 7:00 but there was still one hour left, I decided to try and make my hair look a little more proper, so I stood in front of the mirror debating whether it is better pulled upright in a ponytail or in a bun. However the level of my stupidity didn't realize that maybe letting my hair loose would be better, I looked at my reflection I haven't had my hair loose in a while, it looked luxuriant but windblown at parts.

I walked faster than I thought and waited beside the exit.

 No one was around, they were all busy celebrating and preparing some of the patients, some of them were even decorating the hospital.

When Nickolas finally arrived I waved at him furiously, I was a little too excited.

He stopped for a minute and touched the tips of my loosen hair, that wasn't expected.

"That's beautiful" he said as he looked right through my eyes. I frowned as I wasn't capable of doing anything else, I mean what should I do… complement his hair too?

That’s a bad decision, I pushed that thought aside.

I feel emotionally retarded.

"So where are we heading?"

"You're too curious little cat"

"I am, I want to know where exactly and what exactly are you planning to do… I mean you might rape me, right?" I couldn't believe I just said that… now I'm also considered socially retarded.

Fortunately he knew I was kidding and smiled. Except that I wasn't.

 He held my hand and opened the exit door, he checked that no one was looking then he closed the door right behind me, "we'll go upstairs" he noted.

After reaching the last floor, there was a final door that was locked. It was probably the roof.

Nickolas got a pin out of his jacket and with some twists and turns in the door knob, managed to open it.

"Now Nala, I introduce you to a place where only stars exist" he opened the door slowly and led me inside.

It was the roof and I gasped as I looked at the sky, my god he did really mean it when he said stars only exist. Snow was falling in crystals, forming the most euphoric shape, entwined with the glittering of the stars, it felt like a painting that consisted of black and white and grey, though the painting looked as a healer for the lost, it seemed that you might get lost in its own world.

I stared at him blankly after I got hold of my emotions, "That's… not just…" I knew that words would make no sense compared to what I'm feeling and what I'm seeing before my eyes.

I smiled at him, "This is the best present I could ever have on Christmas….Snow." I reached out and hugged him.

Oblivious with all the feelings he puts me through, I hugged him, I am in fact stupid.

I shouldn't have hugged him, my stomach went sick and I breathed in his scent, that scent that would last for days in my nose. I wished it could last for years, but who am I to wish for more, that was the best I could get; a simple true awkward hug.