Chapter 24: Bite my lips

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  • Dedicated to Mayar Hossam
                                    

I finally told Julianne about what had happened next,

"So what I need to understand from what you are saying is that you slept together?" Julianne asked, since I was too vague about what really happened

"Yes, we slept together. Okay?" I said in a hushed voice,

She was so annoying and she was prying over things I refuse to tell and I think I made it very clear by now that back then I liked him.

"Okay I got it, so what happened next?"

The thing about what happened next is that it's nothing important, "Look Julianne, I need to go now… I promised Nickolas to meet him later"

"You and Nickolas are getting very close as I could see" she noted while placing her eye glasses on the desk, I smiled peevishly,

She was killing me with her prying.

She nodded and I left, I did actually promise to meet him but it wasn't until two hours later.

So I waited nervously after telling him that I wanted him, I didn't really know what I expected to say; I guess I was submitted in this hospital for not having any manners and for dripping the words all over the place. Right?

The two hours passed quickly and I was too nervous to move any limb, what the hell am I supposed to say, anyway I waited for him on the roof which was now officially our second favorite place, or so I think…

No I can't face him now, I just can't. I stood up and headed towards the door when I found it being opened, of course it had to open the moment I tried to escape, just my luck.

"Were you leaving?" he asked

"No, I was…. Taking a walk?"

That was officially the Worst. Lie. Ever.

He smiled and sat down,

"I wanted to talk to you"

"If it's about the 'I want you' thing, I would pleasantly explain that it wasn't in my intentions t-to… s-say it, or even m-m…mean it and I need to tell you that…"

"Will you please shut up" he interrupted,

"O-okay…" I don't understand the situation I have put myself into.

"I need to tell you something, it's very important… I don't even know where to start but I have to say it… to anyone"

"I'm listening" he got my attention

"Nala, I think I'm relapsing" he held his breath "badly… I'm" he found it hard to speak, so I seated myself beside him and placed my hand on his shoulder in order for him to relax, and he did as he focused his attention to me,

"You don't know what I'm going through. The only time I feel okay, is when you're around. And you're not around quite often" he chastised me and I accepted it, he had a point,

"It will be fine, you'll get better and everything will be fine." I comforted him but that vexed him as he breathed heavier, "It's not that, I can't even get better"

"You will be, you know it"

"Shut up Nala! I'm not going to get better" he stood up immediately and continued, "The only time I'm not seeing things is with you… and that's not good" his chest was rising and descending, "I'm starting to doubt if you're real"

"Of course I'm real"

He laughed, "You're real? Prove it… You know what, save it. I mean who am I kidding, I'm talking to a person who won't even admit being sick, well face it darling you Are in a mental hospital, You Are sick" he was yelling at me

"Nick…" he sent my feelings to their death sentence and I needed him to shut up, so I put my hand up to my ears but he grabbed my hands and placed them beside me violently, "You listen to me" he yelled "How do you even know if I'm real, how should I trust you and why do you trust me… Tell me how do you know if I'm real?" I was heading towards the door because I couldn't stand a word of what he was saying, "Nala, don't walk away while I'm talking to you. Answer my question." he followed me and seized my arm with a firm grip, I yelped,

 "How on earth do you know if I'm real?" anger shot sparks from his eyes, he tightened his grip around my wrist,

"I know because you are." I managed to say in a low voice.

He let go of his grip and walked back to the bench, he placed his head in his hands and started crying silently.

I wouldn't dare to leave. I wouldn't bear not to help him.

I came closer to him and held him near me, and at this moment I realized that he was just as weak and fragile as I am. His hands were too cold so I tried to warm them up, he had already retained his strength and started letting go of my hold,

"I'm just scared" he whispered

"Don't be, we're right here and nothing can hurt you"

"Save your breath, I'm not scared of my demons"

"Then what's scaring you?"

He looked thoughtful, those blue eyes almost black from all the agony he felt, "it's often talked of, never seen, Ever coming, never been, Daily looked for, never here. Still approaching it's coming near. Thousands for its visit wait but alas for their fate"

"I did not understand a word" I managed to get a smile out of him by my stupidity; I tried to understand but failed.

Then out of nowhere he started laughing loudly, I had the feeling that he was back to his delirious state until he talked, "I just have a small simple question…" he couldn't talk since he was laughing too loudly, "What is…" he breathed "What the hell is 'I know because you are'?" he mimicked my voice, "That was the stupidest line I've ever heard" he continued laughing while I  shot glares at him, "You know what I meant…" I sighed, he kept giggling and then smiled at me, "I do know what you mean" the laughter was gone, replaced with sudden earnest,

"You do?" I asked

"Well you can say that; I also know because you too, are."

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