Ameles potamos

Chapter 25: Closer

"So after you slept together, what happened?" She asked

"We woke up the next day and I left…" I secretly smiled at my rudeness.

"You're in a good mood today, is it Nick related?" Why does it annoy me when she calls him 'nick', she's getting on my nerves these days.

"No it's not 'nick' related" she could tell when I'm lying.

Her face was rigid once again, "Tell me what happened"

I decided to stop annoying her, "Well, we woke up early that day and I was over the moon…"

. . . . .

He woke up, his hands touching the edgy curls of my hair. I opened my eyes and smiled

"Good morning" he said quietly

"Morning" I adjusted myself against the pillows

"I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have been so harsh with you"

I searched for any kind of regret for sleeping with me in his tone but fortunately found none.

"There are some things I need to explain to you." he said as he kissed me for the thousand times.

"I'm all ears."

"I don't know where to start," he paused,

"Samantha, she told me that you were frightened, I'm sorry I caused you such trouble."

"If that's what you're going to say then you better shut up."

"No… it's just that I'm too nervous right now." he looked the other way not making any eye contact.

I moved his face to mine, "Look at me, you can tell me everything."

He smiled, "I wish it was as simple, you know I never told you why did I cut myself,"

"No you didn't, and you're not obliged to tell me." I said quietly

"Well, I'll tell, I want to tell you. The thing is I'm kind of sick. Like m-mentally" he didn't find a better way to explain his situation,

"I have sudden manic episodes," he continued, "it's some kind of a-" his throat was tight, I could tell, "It's when your mind just starts to…" he paused again, this subject brought him pain, it was showing all over his face, "look, your thoughts just start crumbling and racing so fast that I swear, I could hear them like thunder… from how many they are."

I was listening carefully, I had no idea what was I going to do so I just listened and remained silent,

"Your thoughts starts racing so fast that you won't be able to keep up with them" he was out of breath, somehow.

"So I had to do it, you know; cut myself."

Silence filled the room, and then I started,

"by the way, you didn't scare me, you just offended me that's all, and I just thought you were ditching me or something. I didn't really understand what was going on"

I explained this to him since I had no other answer to what he'd just said, I wasn't very helpful but his face seemed to lighten up and that was all that mattered.

"Wait, are you saying that you're the one who moved the furniture to the backyard?"

He nodded, "I tend to do such things."

I managed to smile, but would it matter how much we wanted to help even though we just can't…

Believe me it doesn't matter if we just couldn't provide any service, they would hate you after all.

"What happened later?" Julianne asked while staring at other patients

My memories were a bit blurred; I bit my lip and looked at her in hope of finding what I'm looking for.

She noticed my silence then she turned to see me drastically looking for an answer,

She furrowed her brows, "You don't remember, do you?"

I shook my head; she looked at me for a minute then wrote something in her little ugly notebook.

"Where are you going now Nia?" she asked and I just shrugged and left.

. . . . .

That same day I dreamt of blood, so much blood all over my hand, my clothes and my mirror.