Ameles potamos

Chapter 36: Too late for the misfit of a young one

The overwhelming realization made me lose track of their conversation but in a few minutes I regained my conscience and continued to hear their conversation carefully,

 "But you were right he didn't deserve me, he is way much better than I Am." said Lana.

"No, no, he didn't deserve you because he's a jerk." tears accumulated in Niala's eyes.

"Come on, you know the truth, you thought he was too hot for me, and you were jealous because he never thought of dating you—" she paused and looked my way, I looked behind me but saw nothing.

Niala walked towards her quickly but Lana stopped her by putting the gun to her own temples, tears streamed down her face.

"Please tell me I was wrong," she continued

"You're not…" Niala's eyes burst with emotions and she began sobbing, "J-Just please, don't." she placed her hands over her eyes.

"I'm a slut, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sorry." I swallowed my tears as Niala cried her heart out, she removed her hands from her eyes.

"Nia, I'm cursed. I can never love anyone, I can never let anyone love me back, I refuse to let anyone touch me because of what I did."

"It wasn't your fault" I-she yelled at her as she cried.

"It was partially my fault Nia, you can't deny it.

"Nia he raped me and I liked it, I enjoyed it."

"But you've been repenting since then," she screeched.

"Yeah, but I can't go on. I can't go on with my life. I can't move on, I can't undo what I did." she said in despair.

"You can try," replied Niala, "Just don't kill yourself."

"I wanted more, did you know that. I asked him for more." she shouted.

"It was three years ago for heaven's sake, your father raped you three years ago." Niala shouted back.

"Every day; I dream about it every day, it just happened yesterday for Me." she crumbled to the ground and Niala hurtled towards her and wrapped her body all around Lana.

I sighed in relief.

"He ripped out a huge part of my soul." said Lana.

"He's gone now, he won't ever hurt you again, you've… we've moved on. You are now starting a new life with your mom."

Niala started playing with Lana's hair and soothing it back to its original form.

"You're right." she said sniffing.

"Yes, years from now, Lana, we'll both be amazing people, you'll open your own bistro and I'll be your co-manager." she smiled

"Our kids will play together, you'll have a boy and I'll have a girl and they'll fall in love. If they don't, we'll force them into marrying each other." she-I managed to make her laugh.

I smiled to myself as the thought of ten years from now, because my future wasn't as bright.

I'm a completely different person from the Niala standing in front of me, makes me sad, yet happy that I'm no longer that slut.

Niala pulled the gun away from Lana's hands and placed it on the counter, she soothed her and as she looked at her hands, she found Lana holding the golden locket.

"You need to let go of this, he's a jerk, he doesn't deserve you." I looked so pathetic standing over there, thinking that cheating with her own boyfriend was for her own best, and she was in fact naïve and believed my silly lie.

"I'm sorry," she finally added.

"I'm happy now." said Lana.

I guess I wasn't as bad as I think.

Niala helped her to her bed and slept right beside her, she continued twirling the edges of her hair until she fell asleep.

And by 'she' I mean me… My other version fell asleep, that's when my heart beat started to increase,

Wake up Niala, wake the hell up.

But of course no one can hear me, and I was still tied or pulled or whatever to the ground.

Lana sneaked from her bed without making any sound, she took a piece of paper and wrote something on it then headed to the bathroom and closed the door.

The moment the door was closed, I could feel the weight of being attached to the ground disappear, I shot out of place quickly and read the paper…

'On contrary wise, what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be it would, you see…

I'm happy now. However I couldn't help but not see myself with you ten years from now, it's too late for me.'

Said the note, and as I read it again I heard the shattering noise of a mirror, I knew it too well to have other guesses.

I rushed to the bathroom and looked at Lana as she held a piece of the broken glass in her hands.

No, no Lana don't, don't be stupid. All the suppressed tears slid from my eyes, down my cheeks. As Lana slit both her wrists vertically, the look in her eyes seemed strong and determined.

Blood gagged from both her open arms, the cut was deep and irreparable. She has committed suicide.

Niala opened the door that was locked behind me and Lana, she gasped as she reached for her friend, who was already dead on the floor, in a hurry.

I started crying, I remember all this now.

I remember the feeling, the devouring flames inside my guts, the urge to commit suicide too.

Niala held her in her arms and started stroking her hair gently while whispering her name a couple of times, when she figured that it was of no use, she howled and wept as she rocked her friend in her hands.

"No, you can't die… You can't."

Niala's clothes were full of blood; the pond of blood surrounding them was impeccable.

All I did was cry with my hand over my mouth, I remember everything now. I collapsed to the ground right beside them as Niala kept stroking her hair and rocking her body back and forth.

She started screaming, those screams I had in my nightmares. Now I know their source, they're my screams.

She screamed louder, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to have listened, I know how I felt back then.

Numb, all I could feel was numbness caressing my joints and every cell of my body.

As the pool of blood expanded, the pain and sorrow increased and consumed Niala.

I backed away and started panting for air, it was gone, and I couldn't breathe. It was my fault, I wasn't there for her, and when I finally was, it was too late for her.