Ameles potamos

Chapter 22: The ghost in the mirror

I was already halfway done with my checkups and I haven't seen Nickolas yet, that was a downer.

They took blood and urine samples from each of the patients.

It was almost over when I finally saw Nickolas; he was sitting right in front of me. the patients were split into two groups, sitting opposite of each other and the doctor was passing with his equipments, he asked us to pull up our shirts in order for him to check on our heartbeats or whatever he's doing, when it was finally over I got up to leave the room.

As I steered towards the door, I couldn't help but look at Nickolas again, so I turned for one last look.

. . . . .

I sat on the cold floor in my room; wondering why did I have to look, why did I have to see what I saw, wondering why did I forget that people have secrets they'll never tell.

I have to talk to him, and tell him everything I'm feeling… I have to be brave and tell him what I saw.

. . . . .

"Nickolas" I sat down on his table while eating, recently I avoided eating the same time he does.

He looked at me and his hands closed into fists, his pale blue eyes sparkled with ferocity, they pierced my body. That look gave me shivers.

I guess he noticed that I was avoiding him; I always wondered how such an innocent, pale color can cover you with every color you hate.

"Nick, I'm sorry… I just needed…" I don't even know what I needed. Remind me again why was I avoiding him?

"Needed what?" he said bitterly

"Nothing, I don't know… I'm sorry"

Thank god I wasn't stuttering.

"Let me tell you what you need, you think that when you surround yourself with something, that same thing consumes you. Am I right?" he blustered

"No, that's not true" what use would it do denying what he is saying, since I had no reason for staying away, everything I'll do and say will convince him that he's right.

I decided I should leave him alone, so I left quickly as he was speaking.

After reaching my room I crouched on the floor and started crying, he's gone now and I'm actually alone, I feared his absence, I feared his presence as well.

I often found myself wanting to be alone, my biggest fears that one day I will be.

. . . . .

I managed to sneak to the roof once again. That day was my loneliest day in this hospital and I wanted to be alone, at least I wanted to be alone in a different place other than my room, it was about time I broke up with the floor, I mean it consumes so much energy out of my body…

I was sitting on the bench all by myself in silence.

The backdoor opened and I found my reflection in Nickolas's eyeballs.

"Nickolas, you come here often?"

"No I followed you…" I laughed then realized he was serious.

"Oh… well…" I had no idea what did I want to say, I had no idea what should I say or what should I do.

He sat near me on the bench, too near I must add.

The only ones talking were the stars, they whispered eternities, they dyed the air with their murmuring, they murmured secrets of people from all around the universe, and yet we'll never understand the language of the stars.

"Nick, I'm sorry." I couldn't say anything else

His blue eyes were fixed on me, and at this moment I realized he had forgiven me a long time ago, his eyes punctured my skin and penetrated my soul, one look from him and my world was ruptured. Sometimes I couldn't even look at him; all the beauty residing within his soul formed a halo that usually surrounded him, that halo could burn one's eyes.

"Its okay," he answered and I softly laid my head on his shoulder, and simply stared at the stars, or his eyes… I couldn't remember, they both looked the same.

The following day I could tell that today was a bright day, I woke up and decided not to visit Julianne's I wanted to keep my happy mood for a while, and what I was about to tell her wasn't happy at all.

"I was talking to him one day; he was so angry and furious all the time."

"What did you tell him?" he asked

"It's just you reminded me of that incident, I asked Dylan why is he always angry, he told me that he just doesn't believe in anything and that everything was a lie. Just like you said, you just said that you think all people are evil and that you don't believe in anything or anyone anymore." I scoffed, "Nick, there's a huge difference between doing mistakes and being evil… I mean, you do mistakes… but are you evil?"

"You have a point but what I'm saying is that everyone does mistakes, the level of trust depends on the size of mistakes everyone commits." He looked at the stars all above us,

"His words are true, about the lies; everything is in fact a lie. Every feeling, every dream"

"Feeling…" I asked, it was more of thinking out loud. I remained silent for a moment before I spoke again,

"Nick I want you"

I think I startled him with my words, shit I can't believe I just said that… I want you? What was that?

What the fuck was that?

I lost all my emotions and hurried back to my room, I think he was about to say something but I just left, I didn't need any words. I had to say it someday. I just hope I didn't repel him, I just hope I didn't lose a friend.