I want you

The accident

"I've never really told anyone not from start to finish. Not the full picture. Not from my side-my true feelings." I said under my voice but it was still audible. I sat up next to Joe unintentionally mirroring his position.

"When I was 16 I got a boyfriend. David. He was 'cooler than me' but he was so real and down to earth. He did hang round with the wrong kind of people but they were all nice they just smoked a bit of weed and popped a few pills. I became close with him and his mates. We'd go to party's, to the beach to each other's houses. We became a friend group.

When me and David got together he started drinking less, smoking less. He was happy to just sit in and watch tv. His mates started to do the same. I became known as the "mum" I'd cook for them. I'd unintentionally pulled them away from drugs and drink. If they needed help with their college work I'd always try and help. I'd give lifts in my car. And i wish I'd given David a lift the day it happened.

David couldn't drive a car just a ped. We'd been together 6 months by this time i was 17 and he was still 16. I had my car and he had his ped. I hated it. Its lack of safety the way he'd speed off down the roads and through the lanes.

We all got into our universities we wanted when we were 18.

I got into Bristol and David got into Exeter. Me and David had been together two years now and this was the furthest we'd been apart. We were still close and every Easter, summer and Christmas I'd drive to Exeter pick up David and we'd drive back to Cornwall to see our families.

It happened this Christmas just gone.

Christmas 2013.

We'd now been together 4 years. He was my best friend and boyfriend in one. We had plans to move in together when we finished uni.
To get a flat in Bristol and a Labrador puppy.
We wanted a house and kids.
We wanted a future.
We would of had a future.

My law degree was extended by two days to give us work to do over the holidays. This meant David had finished two days before me. The plan was David would stay in a b&b for the extra two days then I'd drive down in my car to Exeter pick him up and we'd drive to Cornwall.

Like we did every year.

But the didn't happen.

I remember I was sat in my lecture when a police officer walked in and spoke quietly to my professor. I didn't think anything of it. Until my professor said

"y/n can you collect your stuff, this gentleman needs to speak to you"

"What about my Christmas case sir don't i need the brief?" I asked gathering my stuff.

"That won't be necessary" he replied bluntly I knew something was wrong. That something had happened.

P.C Philip was his name. He was bald, had blue eyes, an ageing face. And an awful manner of breaking news to someone.

"Miss y/l/n I'm afraid to inform you that your partner David had been involved in a terrible road accident. He passed away at the scene"

No.

This wasn't happening.

Not David he was waiting for me in Exeter like he did every year.

He wouldn't ped all the way up here.

What would be the point.

Tears in my eyes my body shaking my stomach filled with dread I reached for my phone and rang him.

No answer.

Again I rang.

No answer.

I tried again and again all the while the police man said there was no point. I refused to accept it.

Until I got a phone call from Sadie. David's mum. Her voice was something I don't want to remember. A flood of tears that I thought I could feel on my end of the phone. Her voice shakey and croaky.

He was dead.

He was 20.

That's no age to die.

We'd been together 4 years.

We loved each other but still to this day I can't help but feel our loved killed him

After speaking to the boys we went to school with the police found that David had planned to ped up to Bristol to propose in Bristol in the Christmas wonderland. He had in fact reached Bristol. But what had happened was a lorry had pulled out too quickly from a junction. Running him and his bike over.

He died instantly.

And on his cold blooded body they found the ring. The ring i still wear now around my neck." I looked down at the silver ring with its diamond.

"If he didn't want to propose if we weren't together he'd still be here.

Alive"

I grabbed the ring and burst into tears. Joe put his arm around me and I pressed my face into his chest, wetting his t shirt with tears.