n0t a waste 0f space.

apathy

"how are you feeling"

they ask me today

I say I don't really know

I don't really feel okay.

Are you contemplating suicide?

They ask with concerned eyes,

and I shake my head in confusion

because I don't think that's quite right. 

It's just that I don't have the courage

To take the pills or grab the blade,

but if I was in the street as a car came

I don't think I would move out of the way.

I don't really care if I get hurt

Because I can't handle how it feels

But I'm too afraid to end the pain

So I walk on numb heels.

I'm not contemplating suicide

But life feels like a bore

I'm just apathetic to existence

And death does not scare me anymore