n0t a waste 0f space.

i am not kind

people say i am kind.

they tell me i am sweetly sincere--

my words like honey, syrupy medicine,

but i am not kind, i am afraid.

i am a spider constructing a web of flowery sentiments

to hide the bloody hourglass on my stomach.

i am a sweet girl, pretty girl,

soft-spoken lips just the way i should be,

rosy cheeks--not from alcohol, not me, i am properly neat.

i care what others think of me, so desperately

need to be loved without the vulnerability.

i will not be hurt, so i'll hurt no one

my lace lies sew up the cracks in my armor

with compliments and gratitude,

but i am not kind, not me, not i.

if anything i am selfish pride, hiding behind

dresses and smiles of my lovely recipe,

kind? not me, i destroy everything.

because i build buildings of beauty

i make friends but my walls never fall,

kindness is an illusion of my marionette doll.

sincerity is ironically sincere from the cracks of my lying teeth.

so don't love me, i am not neat,

and my kindness just preserves safety.