The Year I Met Ryan (Editing)

Chapter 32: I've been leaking salt water

CHAPTER 32: I'VE BEEN LEAKING SALT WATER

My body was shaking with my sobs, and I couldn't make it stop, as much and as hard as I tried. I was trying to wrap my head around this break up, but I couldn't even bear to think about it. It had not been THAT long since we had broke up but it also did not just happen yesterday, and we still hadn't talked about it.

I stared up at my ceiling, although my vision was blurred with the tears that were filling up my eyes. My parents had left me alone, they were letting me deal with this, but were going "to be there if I needed them." The night it happened I had cried in my mom's arms.

The hurt that I was dealing with was almost unbearable. I couldn't process the fact that he would just do that without even an explanation. But I was tired. My eyes were red; they were puffy and I didn't want to cry anymore. I needed to go to school; I had already missed the day before.

With a complete lack of energy I looked down at my phone to look at the time. Sighing heavily I got up to get ready for school. I was going to get there late but it didn't matter. In fact, it might be better in a way; I didn't want Ryan to see me like this. It was time to pull myself together, or at least act like it.

Another reason I did not want to go is that I did not want Nicki or Diana to feel sorry for me. I had told them right before I had fallen asleep about what happened but I didn't want to talk to anyone about it.

But now, it was time for me to face him.

**********

I thought that I was prepared to see him, but I really wasn't. The minute I entered the hallway to put my things in my locker, I spotted him. All the hurt started to pile up again and I could feel a lump in my throat starting to form. I turned to my locker, but stole a glance. He was talking to Nicki and he looked mad. I told myself not to stare, but I couldn't help it. 

She pushed him on the shoulder and pointed her finger at him. I couldn't look in their direction anymore. I wanted to cry, I wasn't strong. I could act like I was, but I wasn't in the mood, because all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sob. I heard footsteps in the almost empty hallway and as I turned back, my eyes met with his. Ryan's. My mouth trembled and I quickly looked away as he walked behind me, going the other way.

"Hey," a female voice said softly to the left of me.

I jumped a little, not expecting someone to have been there. Turns out that it was Diana. I summoned up all my strength to at least give her a small smile.

"How are you holding up?" she asked me.

I just shrugged my shoulders and wiped my nose with my sleeve, trying not to cry.

"Did you see Nicki talking to Ryan?"

I couldn't even smile at her, let alone respond to her question. All I did was nod.

"Well!" she started off, "I was sort of around the corner so I heard every word. Nicki was just scolding him and telling him that he would never find anyone else as special as you. She told him that you deserved an explanation. THEN you'll never believe what happened next. THEN, he said that he knows. HE KNOWS!"

I just gave her a look.

"I know right! Anyway so then she was like 'you better talk to her about it' and he was all like 'I don't need you to get in my business Nicki' and then she was all like 'I'm trying to be a good friend' and then he was all like-"

"Diana!" She stopped her story. "I got it."

She stopped talking and looked at me with a face that meant that she felt bad for me, and I didn't want that.