The Year I Met Ryan (Editing)

Chapter 34: Can you make up your mind already?

I didn't skip a chapter. It just will bother me if its part 34 and chapter 33 so I made it 34

Sorry for the longggggg wait, I've been extremely busy :( I'll try to update more often, and with my break coming up i'm hoping to at least do 2 in one week. Hope you guys are still enjoying and reading. I think you guys will like this chapter, at least some parts.

Recap: Beth and Ryan broke up, and as much as she tries to talk to him he pushes her away. The last chapter included him quitting the baseball team, him telling her that he doesn't care about her anymore, and her almost getting run over by a car.

CHAPTER 34: CAN YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY?

The days really did just drag on. I tried to let people in, and I tried to make the best out of my days, but I really couldn't. Every night I had cried myself to sleep. I had told myself that he still cared about me, that he HAD to care about me. But I needed him to say it. My thoughts weren't enough to make me believe it. In fact, my thoughts were the ones bringing me down. I was surrounded by negativity 24/7 and I couldn't exactly shut down my brain.

I tried to focus in school, but I just wanted to cry. Ryan had found a way to move seats in every class we had together so that we were sitting as far apart possible. I felt drained, so drained, and as I wrote notes in class I still wanted to cry. I literally did not know what to do with myself. It's like I wish that car had hit me, not to die but just to not have to deal with anything for a while. I would have had something else to worry about. I tried pushing those thoughts out of my head.

I started breathing really hard and really fast. The pain I was feeling spread through my body like a wildfire and I began to feel lightheaded. I was starting to cry and this was making it really hard for me to breathe. I raised my hand, and with one look at me, Mr. Cory nodded his head, and I ran out of the room.

I bumped into Nicki in the hallway and I started breaking down in tears. She hugged me tight and ran her hands down my hair consoling me.

"Sh, sh, it's okay Beth."

All I could do was shake my head. I was extremely grateful for Nicki, because she had turned out to be one of the best friends I could ask for.

"Okay," she paused for a second. "Well school is almost over but do you want to leave? Pretend you have bad cramps and we can go up to the nurse to send you home, that way it won't be on your attendance?"

I laughed at this. "No, but thanks. I just want to get cleaned up."

"Let's go then."

We both walked over to the bathroom, and I leaned against the bathroom sinks, thankful that they were clean. I wanted to wash my face, but really didn't want to have to take off my mascara. I didn't exactly look great without it.

With a chuckle, Nicki waved mascara in front of my face. I smiled at her and splashed my face with cold water. The tears had subsided, and what was left was a red face. Ryan probably thought I looked REALLY attractive.

"Stop thinking about him."

Wow what did she do read minds? "I'm not," I lied.

"Mmmhm." Was all she did.

I couldn't help but laugh again. I stayed in the bathroom for a couple more minutes so that I could calm down a bit more. Nicki just stood next to me in silence, letting me be.

I looked at the time, and seeing as how I had been gone for a while, thanked Nicki, hugged her, then said bye and walked back to class.

I have always hated that whenever you leave a classroom people stare at you, and whenever you enter the classroom, everyone's heads automatically turn toward you. It's like an innate thing. Well when I entered, that's exactly what happened. I locked eyes with Ryan and his eyebrows sort of started to furrow together but then he quickly looked down. I walked back to my seat without looking at anyone else, including him.