Carnal Seduction

Chapter Four

I stood by my apartment window, my arm raised above me on the sill of the window, while I looked out over the city streets, thinking of her. Thinking of the times of how this view from my apartment window had given way to many nights of blissful sex with the women of my past. I had always been a pro at winning women over, knowing exactly how to act and behave in order to win their affections. Most times, of course, certain women I desired had rather thrown themselves at me, making my efforts nearly non existent.

Those were the type of women I never saw again. The one night kind of women. Ones who never gave me anything to chase after. I yearned for the chase, loved the thrill of it like most men. It was what kept me in the game, and with most of the women, even if the sex had been amazing, I had been left wanting and unsatisfied. With her, the game was much different. I wanted to pursue her with pressured effort, and yet found I stilled myself, simply due to the fact that I found more enjoyment to chase her slowly.

Nevaeh.

I had thought her name in my mind, and had said it aloud in my own privacy over a million times, simply relishing the sound of it. Nevaeh. I imagined myself saying her name aloud in my fantasies of her as I came inside her within my mind. It was simple and pure ecstasy for me to imagine such a possibility. I wondered greatly if she would allow me to do such a thing, and the mere prospect of her being willing aroused me beyond belief.

Too many days had passed by now, and with each one I found myself at the cafe waiting for her to appear, but each time she had never shown up. After the first few times of me doing so, I began to fret that my actions would give me away. I became paranoid that she would, if she turned up, think it was too odd to find me in the one place she always graced. I had no idea of how intelligent she was, and simply hoped that she would not put two and two together and see through my plot to win her.

After she had left me, the last time I had seen her, I had been beside myself with happiness. I knew that my plan had set up any future encounters to seem natural, and as if fate was deeming us to cross each others paths, despite my paranoia.

It was what I had needed in order to get to know her better, and on a more intimate level. I wanted more time with her, a moment where a normal conversation could be struck, a way to get myself into her life and truly make her my own.

I hadn't been able to get her off my mind. When I was working had been the only time I was not thinking about her constantly. It was the only time I was focused on something other than her and still, there were the small moments where she did grace my thoughts through out my work day. In those moments I welcomed her gratefully, the simple thought of her brought me peace, made me calm, despite the stresses of my work load. Yet, it was when I was at home alone, or in the cafe that she seemed to consume my mind endlessly.

There was still so much I did not know about her. I had been pondering greatly whether or not she lived in the city like I did, what she cared about most, what she did in her free time, what it was she thought about, what she dreamed of. I had never wanted to know a woman as deeply as I did with her. Sometimes I found myself frightened at that one prospect, and then at other times, I felt extreme excitement about giving myself over to it in order to find out the answers to my thoughts of her.

The way I was feeling about her, even in not knowing her that well, was something entirely new and fresh, something that I had never felt with any other woman before. I couldn't work out why she was so different from the women of my past, why she consumed my mind so relentlessly, and yet I discovered that I was more than happy to figure out the reason why.

There were moments when I desired to know her intellectually, to know her mind completely, unlike any other I had ever known. I wondered if she had people in her life who knew her so intimately, other men especially, and when I thought of another man knowing her in any form, I became insanely envious and unbelievably jealous.