Carnal Seduction

Chapter Five

Once again I stood by my apartment window, watching the sun setting on the horizon. The sky was painted with an amazing array of golden, red hues which were ever so slowly fading to light and dark purple tones. I held my phone within my right hand, my thumb was moving back and forth over the call button as I held a small piece of paper in my left hand with Neveah's number written on it.

I had been attempting to call her now for the last half an hour, only to find myself ending the call before I even finished dialling her number. My actions of hesitation confused me. Never had I been tormented by the emotions I was feeling. I feared her rejection, and at the same time feared her accepting my invitation to have dinner with me, which was what I was planing to ask her upon my phone call to her.

I feared her rejection because of how badly I wanted her, and knew if she did reject me, it would only cause me to pursue her further. When it came to her accepting my invitation, my fear came from how I had started to feel towards her in the short time we had shared together.

It had only taken our last chance meeting I had set up to nearly completely change the emotions I felt for her. Even though my mind thought of her sexually in many ways, I was finding myself having great respect for her now.

I was constantly thinking about how I didn't want to treat her as I had treated other women in my past. I didn't want to use her and discard her, I didn't want to play the game of cat and mouse, I wanted to know her greatest inhibitions and bring them to life.

My fantasies about her had grown even more explicit as time had passed. I had imagined her bending to me, submitting to every sexual demand I had, giving me ultimate pleasure, as well as giving pleasure to herself through the touch of her very own hands on her body. Such things I desired to see her do with me and me alone.

There were times were I imagined her behaving like a sex crazed whore, begging me to have my way with her in any way I chose. The words I imagined her saying to me, with her begging and pleading, fuelled such a raw and intense sexual need to have her, that I could do nothing but give in to my own sexual release with an image of her in my mind as I reached the height of my fulfilment.

Then, at times, came the fantasies of her being extremely innocent to the point of seeming virginal. I imagined in these fantasies that she looked up at me with doe like eyes, secretly yearning for what I wanted to give to her, even as she was shy and timid within my arms and under my touch. Each fantasy made me yearn for her more than I had with any other woman, and even as I allowed myself to have these fantasies, I was now beginning to feel a bit guilty in having them.

What I yearned to know most within my sexual desires of her, was her true essence within the bedroom. Would she be timid, shy, innocent, like a virgin, or would she be dominating and be the ultimate sexual beast of a woman I could never possibly imagine her to be. I desired to know her intimate truth, desired to know how she would moan or gasp, how her body would respond under my touch, the look I would see within her eyes, the sound of her voice as I made her feel pleasure and absolute ecstasy with me.

I had learnt that a woman's appearance never added up to a fantasy or image that I had held of them in my mind. Most times it was this assumption of how I imagined a woman to be within the bedroom which caused me to pursue them. I had found that women who appealed to me as glorious sex goddesses, due to way they exhibited themselves, along with the sensual and sexual looks I saw in their eyes when they gazed at me, sometimes proved to be false.

Like the game I played with them, they played along, with them using the right words, long sexual looks, with seductive body movements, only for me to find I was disappointed when I finally bedded them, and discovered they did not possess the incredible bedroom skills that I imagined they would due to their own games of seduction.