Randomness of a Wattpadian Girl

Old Cat Lady

Welp, that is pretty much what I will end up being.

Why you ask?

Because, boys never notice me at all. I'm not pretty. I'm nor skinny. I've got pear thighs, I've got a big-ish butt. My boob's aren't that big, but they are notable. My hair is just so blah, I'm short and not athletic at all. I've for a muffin top, which my sister loves to make fun off -_- I hate my nose, it has a bump on it and my mom says it is nothing and I shouldn't worry about it. I can't do anything about it. But I really hate it, I hate my nose so much and it's like I can say what I hate about myself without being lectured.

I am praying for a husband or at least a boyfriend.

But it looks so bleak. They never notice me. All the guys look at my sister and I'm like invisible. I'm not even their. What is it with guys and liking blonde skinny Victoria Secret models (like my sister)... it's so unrealistic and not even normal... She gets Al the attention from all the boys, even not the good kind and she likes it.

I am so insecure, and I know I am, and I'm bothered by it. My mom doesn't even know that is struggle with low self-esteem, because she would go on a rampage about whatever, like how it's not right, everyone is beautiful in their own way. Blah, blah, blah. I don't think I will ever get someone. Everyone is so much taller than me, like a foot taller than I am.

I'm a 18 year old pear midget...

I just don't find myself pretty, even with makeup, I'm not pretty. I can't hide my flaws, they always seem to pop up.

Next to my Barbie doll of a sister, who is pretty much almost on the verge of being anorexic (legit she has no fat on her, she is pretty much bones and skin, she eats nothing pretty much three-man chicken nuggets she will say she is full and will eat nothing but chips, which don't do anything for you).

I can't be confident in my body at all, it seems like I will never been attractive or anything to men. I'm just a blah person.

And I don't want anyone saying I'm pretty, I know I'm not, I can see it. I will probably never get married or have kids no matter how much I want it.

And it's sad when your sister has a FB then lies to everyone who she is and what she does just to have friends. It's saddening. Then she tells me I have no friends on here. And I'm like at least I don't lie to my friends and tell them I'm Kasey Rebel who is a famous violin, piano and guitar player. And she does, you can even go in he facebook which is Hanna Gem (she had to change it due to mom being snoooy)

She only takes violin lessons.

I PLAY PIANO.

ITS MY INSTRUMENT.

I ALWAYS WANTED PLAY IT.

My sister, every where we go, she gets on the piano and starts to play. Then here I am, a girl who struggles playing the instrument she loves being shown up by her sister who never took lessons in her life.

My stupid dyslexia interferes with everything I do and it seems no one cares about what I have to go through just to be good at what I love to do.

Do you know how that makes me feel?

Like. Nothing. Like I don't even matter.

No one ever asks me to play anything.

It's always my sister who they ask because she makes a big deal about it.

They are all so impressed with my sister and what she does.

And no one ever is impressed with what I do.

IRL no one, but three people, think I will ever make it as a fashion designer. I've had people tell me that I won't become one, I need to find another job that is more steady and of actuality.

I hate my life.

My sister is everyone's favorite.

There here I am, a waste of space according to most people. Who doesn't matter and is of no use.

Okay, I think I'm done with my rant, oh look, I'm tearing up just great, I'm just waiting for the remarks of my sister to come in.