Randomness of a Wattpadian Girl

I Have Major Anxiety

I was looking on Pinterest and I couldn't help up say that these picture what they said is me. I will explain why, but for me, they are the true me and I am tearing up just thinking about how true they are.

It started when I first started public school, my teacher Mrs. Stormet always yelled at me for everything I did. It didn't help that I had dyslexia and a speech impediment, meaning I couldn't pronounce normal words, like my R would sound like a W. It was a way to calm myself down as I was being yelled at. Even in first grade my teacher Mrs. Nancy also yelled at me for basically the same thing. Only for the first semester is second grade with Mrs. Ontall did I never get yelled at, she was my favorite teacher so sweet and nice. Being homeschooled didn't make a different. My mom would yell and get upset with me when I was having trouble with basic math. Still to this day I still do those things, I still get yelled at and have to worry about everything I do will I get yelled at? Will I do or say something to offend anyone? I need to say this other than this. I need to agree even though I don't believe it.

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Oh gosh, just the other day I was made to call someone from my church to see if their address was the same. I was having a hard time doing it. Then mom yelled at me saying I needed to talk better on the phone. That I can talk great around d her and my sister, but I can't around other people? She doesn't understand! No one irl understands! I hate talking to people, kids under my age that's fine, no problems but kids, my age, over my age and adults oh heck no, I can't. I get so flustered and stammered and trying not to sweat and pass out.

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All the time, I'm made to read in church and I hate it. I count to see who reads what then I read my part over and over so my dyslexia won't mess it up. I still end up messing up and I should know most words, but I don't. When I see a word, sometimes its hard for me to pronounce even though I know the word and use it, reading it is awful and I'm always being corrected and it's hurtful because I'm 18, I graduated school I should know those words! I never want to read or even pray in front of people, I'm to worried I will mess up and my prayer isn't as good as everyone else's, it's how I talk and what I feel like saying and even then I get flustered up

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All the time. When ever someone says it, I immediately tear up, even on here when someone points it out I break down. It makes me feel less than, especially when I'm asking so many questions just to make sure I get it right. At times I feel like a nuance to people.

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All of that is true, the top is what I am truly saying, but people think I'm saying the stuff off the bottom but once again they don't understand what I'm going through.

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And my sister said all that is pretty much crap, I don't have anxiety and she said even when I'm happy to still do it. New flash, I'm not happy, I only have small bursts of happiness they never stick around. I'm always getting put down.

So yeah, this is all true about myself and no I'm not lying.