Pokemon One-Shots and Headcanons

Let Him Go?

I should have seen this coming a long time ago. Whenever our souls became synchronized, Ash always passed out eventually. It wasn't a surprise, really. After all, when we used our form, our hearts beat at the same rate. My own heartbeat is naturally three times as fast as his-it would have been a miracle if he hadn't passed out. It worried me, but I never really objected to using it. He always managed to get back on his feet fairly quickly. I guess I just took that for granted.

But that was a mistake, and now I'm paying the price for it. Ash is in the hospital right now...in a coma. The doctors say he's dying. Serena, Clemont, and Bonnie are doing everything they can to find a cure, but I don't know what they're going to do. It isn't as if Ash contracted some disease; he's sick because we overused our bond. What are we going to do, extract his soul and perform an operation on it?

The other Pokemon keep telling me it's not my fault. They insist I couldn't have seen this coming, that Ash was always the resilient one. Honestly though, that's what bothers me. How could I have failed to see what Ash must have been suffering? Because this illness can't have just hit him out of nowhere; no, he had to have been deteriorating for several weeks now. And I didn't even see it. I was feeling every emotion, sharing his every thought, but I still didn't see it. I almost wish my teammates would condemn me like they should.

I always wanted a trainer who would love me, but I never really imagined what it would be like. And I never knew either, because all my past trainers either didn't care about me or just plain hated my guts for whatever reason. Then Ash came along, and he was everything I had ever wanted in a trainer and more. I knew he loved me, but I never realized just how much I loved him-and still do-until I found out that he was dying. Funny, I guess whoever said that you never truly appreciate what you have until it's gone was right.

And now....now I don't know what to do. If Ash somehow recovers from this, I know he'll want to keep using our special form. A small, very selfish part of me wants to continue as well. I like being able to share Ash's thoughts, feelings, and memories.

But if I truly love him....maybe it's best to let him go.